Phylogenetic systematics---I know about as much about dating as that---which isn't very much. Every so often someone calls me or texts me for advice on dating or relationships. Really, I can't be that great at it; I've already botched a marriage. I am not the person to ask about the dating subject.
The first time I ever got the courage to ask the guy I had a crush on out, he politely told me no. Later I thought I'd give it a try with another guy by actually getting to know him before I asked him out. We talked at a few parties and saw each other at school. Finally I felt like I could ask him on a date, which was conveniently easy because MORP was going on. He had a date for the dance already, so I didn't think much of it. Richard was a nice guy, and I could ask him some other time. Maybe I asked him a few more times, but he would never say yes. All the other cute guys that I ever had a crush on were jocks, and we all know how it goes when the girl with the social status of freak likes a popular guy. They pretend to be nice and like you, and then mock you in front of everyone for sport.
Of course, the only guys that were interested were the stalker type. Really ugly/possessive and creepy. They were always creepy. That's not to say that I didn't go on a date or two in high school with guys that weren't creepy. One just happened to be my friend's ex-boyfriend, and you just don't go there, ever in the history of girls and ex's. He was a great guy, but I wasn't physically attracted to him, so it made sense that I wouldn't continue dating him. The other guy took me out on a pity date because no one would take me to a dance I wanted to go to. No, I don't think I'm the one to ask for dating advice.
For instance, one of my friends called me in a tizzy about boys and mentioned the acronym NCMS, and thought I knew what it meant; of course I didn't. Luckily she mentioned what it stood for while we were talking, or I would have had to ask. Supposedly that's short for a Non-Committal Make out Session. She assumed I'd done it before: I've never done it, ever. I never had any flings with guys, as I guess most girls do in their lifetimes. Me, I never thought it would be fun, because if I am going to kiss a guy I want to know him well and want a future with him. That's the point of showing affection. Although, I realize that even as highly intelligent, evolved mammals we are often helpless to our own biological urges and succumb to them. The increased hormones and elevated serotonin levels when they see an attractive person are part of what brings humans to mate and continue the species.
This guy that I like now went on one date with me on Monday. Now he hardly talks to me, and the one time at the end of the week I asked him if he wanted to go get an italian ice at Zeppe's with me, he said, "maybe later tonight, but not now," which indicates that he was politely saying no. That's what my best friend Derek Jackson does when he doesn't want to hang out/go on a date with someone. So, what do I do? Confront him? No. I just slip into the background and never have the nerve to text, call, or talk to them in person again. Such is my lot in life. I won't settle for less than good looking and chivalrous, but apparently I'm not good enough, or I'm not doing something right.
The end point of this post is to let you all know that I'm not the one to ask for advice on dating. Phylogenetic systematics, remember? Come around asking, and you won't leave very enlightened, probably just scared away.
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