Sunday, February 27, 2011

Poetry Slam

So, I decided to be social last night.  And, this meant going to the poetry slam at the White Gables house.  I thought it would just be readings from poetry books, but no, it was sort of a competition thing.  So, I ran back to my house to grab the sonnet that I just finished up (I spent two days working on it.  It's for my creative writing class).  Everyone had unique poems.  There were three trophies.  A dead bouquet of flowers for the most depressing/scary/sadistic poem, a glass half full of water (or half empty if you prefer) for the best comedic poem, and the prize for the best poem overall was a fishbowl trophy with a red betta inside.  There were lots of fun poems, so I wasn't expecting to win.  I was pleasantly surprised.

Next came the naming.  The names submitted were Wordsworth, Lister, Cloister, and Santa Cruzer.  I've chosen Santa Cruzer for now, although if anyone has a good name they'd like to argue for I wouldn't be averse to changing the name.  The real problem is that I'm unsure how exactly to go about changing the water and whatnot.  Supposedly you can't use tap water because it has chlorine in it?  And you can't use distilled water because it lacks the necessary minerals.  So, I am going to go to Petco tomorrow to get food and whatnot for it.  I also feel bad that it is in such a small space, but I don't really have space in my room for a bigger tank for it.  Maybe if I were to buy a desk and a chair for my room (more homework might get done if I did that) then I could buy a small tank for him to swim around in.  Then I wouldn't have to clean the tank as often.

So, here's introducing Santa Cruzer!

I couldn't really get a decent close up with my camera, so this is just to show his cool fins, I guess.


The trophy

So, should I get him a bigger home, or is he going to be fine in this one?

Oh, and here's the poem that won me him.

Evening In Monterey

I walk along, feet bare in the soft sand,
And breathe in water droplets from the mist,
As rolling fog slides from water to land.
The peninsula ceases to exist.
I journey down the beach, towards my home,
Send out a prayer to not lose my way
So when, enveloped by the thick white foam,
I won't be lost, but safe in Monterey.
I start to run along the road and vow,
"Never, this late, shall I visit the coast."
Alas!  My prayer will not save me now,
And I wander from lamppost to lamppost.
I breathe in water droplets from the air.
Unhappy and lost, I shiver, and swear.

Each line has ten syllables, but I know it doesn't religiously follow iambic pentameter.  I'm going to workshop it on Tuesday.  I'm expecting it to get torn to shreds, but at least it was good for something!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Ballad of Mona Lisa



After a particularly stressful day, I'm really happy for my music.  Now I'm going to go for a walk to Costa Vida, enjoy a burrito, and come back for some Phineas and Ferb to finish drowning my sorrows.

And, this really is one of my favorite songs Panic! At The Disco plays.  I'm not really sure why, since I can never remember the lyrics, but the music is catchy.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Feminism

The topic is inevitable in a literary history class.  We read an excerpt from Margaret Fuller's The Great Lawsuit.  I thought that it was an extremely mild form of feminism which conformed to some LDS views, but for the most part was too laid back on important issues.

When I got in class, I wasn't expecting what happened.  My teacher started out saying something close to this.  "A lot of times I have men in my class that, when they've read this, come to class and ask why they had to read it.  Shouldn't we just get rid of it altogether?  The issues that brought forth feminism aren't prominent anymore.  Aren't women equal to men now?  I'm going to say no, women aren't equal to men now, and that I have you read this because the problems brought forth in this work are just as prominent today as they were then."

The room was silent, and I know there was at least one perturbed, uncomfortable man in the room writhing in his chair because our teacher's words pricked him intolerably.  My teacher went on with his (did you think my teacher was a woman up until this point?) speech.  He said, "You may think that this issue ended in the seventies, but it still exists here and now, in the 21st century, especially in, as much as I hate to say it, the Mormon culture.  A few years ago, my younger sister got engaged to a guy she was dating.  They sent out texts to friends and family to share the happy news.  A few days later, my sister was in an english class, and the discussion of feminism came up.  The teacher challenged his students to discuss with their significant other (if they had one) the subject of feminism.  My sister decided to take the challenge.

"She sat down with her fiance and asked him what he thought about women's rights and the feminist movement, particularly the right to vote.  It turned out that his views were extremely conservative on the matter.  He, quite seriously, said that he believed there should only be one vote per household and that it should be the man's.  The woman was subject to the man and his views because that was the only way to have harmony in the household.  The man was superior because he held the priesthood, and that meant he was the most knowledgeable.  The woman's place was in the home, not in politics and the work force.

"Further, he said he held those views because it is what his mother had taught him.  Needless to say my sister did not marry this man.  And this isn't a singular case.  Lots of men, and some women, hold this view.  It all comes down to the question, is a female really less intelligent than her male counterpart, or are those boundaries set on women by the culture in which she lives?"

There was only one man willing to speak up and say that he didn't really care for feminism because of how radical all the works he had read in the past had been.  He did admit, though, that Fuller's work was particularly mild, that he found it refreshing, and agreed with a lot of the points she made.

I really appreciated my teacher's speech, because for a long time I've been trying to get that point across to people I come in contact with.  I've said before, quite under my breath, when people are excited about marriage and want me to join in the revelry, that "I'm not quite ready to be considered a piece of property again yet."

Although I realize that most men don't look at a woman as their property anymore, I do realize that my ex-husband thought of me that way, and that there are other men that think that way, especially in my culture (not the doctrine of the LDS Church, but the culture.  There tends to be large differences in culture vs. doctrine).

My teacher's class discussion on feminism was one of the few that I have participated in that I haven't been infuriated by.  I attribute this to that speech he gave at the beginning of class.  I appreciate his openness and honesty about the subject.  Even when the topic of radical feminism came up, he said, "Yes, some of it is pretty off the wall, but I wonder if there was a point behind their overstatements.  Many of them were serious about what they were saying, but if you look at it as if they were doing it for shock value, didn't what these feminists wrote wake you up?  Didn't you walk away from the work thinking, yeah, there's a problem with the way women are being treated, and we need to do something to change it?  The literary tactic is actually a very effective one."

So here's kudos to a great teacher who chose to view feminism in a positive light, and admit that there are still necessary steps to be taken for true gender equality today.

Margaret Fuller

Sneaky Weeks

Coming back from a long weekend to a ton of homework that you have less than 24 hours to do is always traumatizing.  I don't have a ton of homework because I didn't do homework over the weekend; I have a ton of homework because BYU decided to have a Monday schedule on Tuesday, and then switch back to the regular schedule for the rest of the week.  This means I have two days with four continuous hours of classes.  Regularly, this wouldn't be a problem.  However, my classes require an uncommonly large amount of reading.

Usually I have Tuesday to do most of my reading.  I'll do part of my reading after school on Monday, and finish it up on Tuesday.  Then I'll do part of my homework on Wednesday, and finish it up on Thursday, etc.  This work load coming back from the holiday is particularly daunting, because my brain doesn't handle stress very well after coming back from a stress free weekend.

I am no good at drawing pictures, so this is what my brain goes through in words:

Yaay, school!  It's nice to be back and learning.

(Two hours into classes) I'm hungry.  Lets munch on wheat thins!

(Wheat thins being eaten)  Wheat thins are loud, and I can't pay attention and eat at the same time.

(I stop eating)

Can't... pay... attention......... too hungry....

Ooh, mythology!

hungry.....

ugh... six more books of the Odyssey to read?  Why did I decide to read it for fun this summer?

Classical Humanities.... soooo bored. 

(Eat apple before class begins)

Maybe I can make it through class.  It's only fifty more minutes.  

Have to take notes... (brain death nearing).... have to get a good grade.... have to stay awake and pay attention....

(ambling down the hill) Fresh air and freedom!  Now to go get a decent meal.

(eating and watching tv) Oh... I have homework.  But, I've eaten, so I can do this!

Ooh, I've never read this before!

I see why I never read it.

How many more pages?

Fifty down.... a hundred more to go....

And I have three papers to work on after this?

Stop working.  Watch House.

Read five more pages.

Stop.  Read blogs.

Must finish homework.

No, must write on blog.

Working on your homework is the right honorable thing to do.

Shut up conscience.

And this is usually a daily thing, unless the reading is particularly interesting or if I am in the mood to be productive and write.  Today, this is a very troublesome thought process, because my lazy side is winning out.  We'll see if I survive the evening.  And, maybe someday I'll get some white paper and draw out a stick figure cartoon of it all and scan it in for my blog.  Maybe.  Like I said, no artistic talent.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Court Intruder



This is how obsessed people are with Jimmer.  I don't know how the guy walks across campus without being mobbed.

Jimmer's name has become a verb.  "You just got jimmered!"  Being the key usage.

Even when other team members are being highlighted in the newspaper, Jimmer's picture is on the front page.

Jimmer Fredette is probably the NCAA player of the year.

And yes, that's just how good BYU is.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Born This Way



Live from the Grammys.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What I Know

Thou shalt not commit adultery.  No one ever considers that there's more than one type.

We don't get married because we love somebody.  We get married because we want that person's love, and don't want anyone else to have it.

Guilt is a scary thing.  That's why people do extraordinary things to hide their guilt.

People don't lie to save other people's feelings.  They lie because they want to save their own.

People get the angriest in an argument when they know that their opponent has said something irrefutably true.

If comparing yourself to other people wasn't important, you wouldn't do it.

Justifying your actions doesn't always mean they were the wrong actions, it just means that the situation was morally muddy, and justification is a means of deciding if blurring the lines was worth it in the end.

The idea that ignorance is bliss is a lie.  We say that to make ourselves feel better about all the uneducated people who are starving, disease ridden, and dying in the world.

The people who see that there is more bad than good in the world aren't cynics, they're realists.

The human race hasn't changed, or history wouldn't repeat itself.

People condemn the actions of others in the past, such as adultery and rape, and say that people are much better now, because they want to delude themselves into thinking that it is nowhere near as prevalent today.

All men were not created equal.

Happy Valentine's

For all of us single folks, there was a family home evening at the Burr's house in Alpine.  We decorated and ate sugar cookies, had a pickup line contest, and gave out valentines to people.  It was fun.

The last person to press the button after the music stops gets shocked game.

Jeff (the guy with his back turned) got shocked.

Lots of people gathering round the cookies.

Danielle (left) and her friend getting cookies.

The only two I know in this picture are Andy (center) and Becca (right)

A group of people.  I was just randomly snapping photos.  I have seen all of these people around before, but I just don't know names.  Never made a point to ask or remember, I guess.

Steve's holding the posters reading pickup lines for the contest.  The winner was, "We should open a Little Caesars because you're hot and I'm ready."

Everyone listening to the contest.


Saying goodbyes!

People I know from left to right: Nathaniel, Aubri, Amber. 

Aubri and Amber

I didn't want to have my picture taken alone, but they wanted me to have a picture taken, so they joined in.

Anthony and me.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Valentines Musings

Do you remember what someone says in response to something you've said?  Do they remember what you said to elicit that response?  Sometimes I feel like I should go hide in a cave for a couple decades when I think about that.  What you say and do defines you, and often what you say betrays what you really think or are going to do.  Occasionally I reflect upon this, and think it a miracle that anyone at all likes me.  I think that the only reason I have most of my friends is because I don't say what I think.  However, I still get to hear what I think, and I believe that is what always makes me surprised that people like me.

I let one of those secret thoughts out today on my way home from church with my roommate Ashley, a girl (no clue who she was) that just got engaged, and Annalee, a girl who is on the music council with Ashley and me and is going on a mission soon.  We were all talking about guys and marriage and whatnot (unsurprisingly, that is a large topic around here).  Ashley and Annalee were saying that they feared they would never get married; that marriage was a faint star in the distance that they felt they would never reach, or if they did, it would be late in life.  In a moment of cynicism, and forgetting that I wasn't alone, I said, "I've been to that star, passed it, and am through with it.  I don't know that I ever want to get married again.  Marriage didn't treat me well the first time I entered into it.  Why would I go in a second time?"

Ashley looked at me, skepticism and slight horror in her eyes, and said, "Chelsea, you can't let that experience be your judge for every guy you date.  You can't assume that all guys are the same."

At that point, I realized that I shouldn't have said anything, because I hadn't set up my huge basis for my belief system.  I tried to recover, saying, "Yeah, I know that's true, but I'm at that stage of moving on with life where I'm just not sure of what I want.  I like going out on a date occasionally.  It's fun, but I don't want to consider marriage again for awhile."  The statement pretty much ended the subject.

Of course, I have been wondering for the past several hours what all those girls think of me, but especially my roommate, since she's the one that rebutted my statement.  And then I think, I just revealed a large part of my character in a thoughtless speech.  ANYONE could tell that my response to Ashley's rebuttal was just a quick way out of an awkward situation.  And, I have to live with the person that looked at me like I was possessed by a devil.  Now I remember why I never say what I think.  Memo to me, never do it again.


I am cynical.  I remember what people say, and I watch them.  From my observations, I've concluded that people are shallow and selfish.  There's always an ulterior motive for someone doing something nice for another person.  Don't ever let someone tell you differently.  My thoughts of people have been based on this for a long time.  I was meanly fooled into believing differently by my now ex-husband, who also had his own set of ulterior motives for marrying me (obviously, I believe this based on my prior belief and because of the way the string of lies that was my marriage fell apart).  I am not going to let myself be fooled again.

Upon this base, my judgement of other people tends to be harsh, as is my judgement of myself.  Therefore, I do remember what people say, and listen to them contradict themselves over and over again as they flip flop from what they say to what they do.  Everyone does it.  I do it.  The difference is that I hate myself when I catch myself flip flopping.  And this is the type of musing I do when this time of year comes around.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Whole Fam Damily

So, I am usually not one for socializing, and we all know that.  But, since I go to a university where the population is almost 100 percent LDS, the student body is required to be actively participating in things the church endorses.  One of these things is "family home evening."  The ward is split into small groups of "families" and two people in that group, a guy and a girl, are appointed "mom and dad" for the group.  Every Monday we meet at 7 PM to do something fun and have a spiritual thought.  The first time I was at BYU I never really went to these things, because I could get away with only showing up once in awhile.  This time, however, the family home evening "mom" is my roommate.  Busted.  I always have to go.

I have no clue what the spiritual thought for January 18th was.  I just remember going to Cabelas.  Our family split into groups and were given pieces of paper.  On my group's paper, we were told we were going bear hunting, and needed to go on a scavenger hunt to find the proper clothing, shelter, weapon, item of our choice, a bear, and a couple other things I don't remember.  We were rushed, because when we got to Cabelas it was fifteen minutes before closing time.  The pictures are what we came up with.

Sydney Neibaur and Coulter Neves

Thomas Cook

Camo hat on one side, hunter orange on the other.

Coulter, Thomas, and Sydney have found our bear trap!

And Coulter's got some guns just in case.

We're scouting out bears, supposedly.

And Syd's pretending to be one.

And Coulter's decided the best route to catching a bear is to feed it.

Shelter

The girls'll do some relaxing while the guys do the hunting.

And the guys'll spend some time fishing.

Our mode of transportation.

Friday, February 11, 2011

HAAY #5

I realize that this is two HAAYS right in a row, but I need some man therapy to get me through the week.  AND.... I've found a new celebrity crush (thank you Kestin!).  Eddie Redmayne!  I fell in love while watching Pillars of the Earth.  Of course, he'd end up being British.  Good 'ol Britain seems to be the place where hot guys come from.  Imagine that.




Tuesday, February 8, 2011

HAAY #4





I couldn't really decide for a long time if I thought he was HAAY worthy, but I figure that he is, if just for his acting job in two great movies, The Italian Job and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

My Two Most Dependable Friends

Kestin Page

It doesn't matter when I need this guy: he'll be there for me.  Although we hardly ever see each other now, he was probably my best, most truest friend in High School.  We have a lot in common.  One of my favorite things to do is just sit back in his car and listen to him while we drive around aimlessly, with his "old soul" music in the background.  Occasionally he'll call me out of the blue, and we'll update each other on what's going on (he usually has cooler stuff going on than I do) and talk about anthropology and literature.  I love this man.

This comic typifies the goings on in my relationship with Kestin.  The one asking the questions is Kestin, and the one following with the camera is me.  This is courtesy of XKCD comics.

If you want to read more about him, go here.

Megan Moulding
(Megan, I hope that you forgive my commandeering of your photo for my blog.  It's one of my favorites of you.)

I think of her like a sister.  I've known her for my entire life.  We can call each other up and ask if we want to get together to do something, and if one of us doesn't want to, we say so, and no one is offended.  My relationship with her is the most honest one that I've had in my life.  Despite the ridiculously small amount of time we actually hang out anymore (especially when I'm at home, considering we're next-door neighbors then), I never feel like I've fallen out of friendship with her.  Some of the most fun conversations I've had with her have been over Instant Messenger.  We have very similar personalities.  We never really talk about sad stuff that's going on in life, but I think that I attribute that to the personality type we are, which is more of an internalizing personality than an externalizing one.  When we do go off on rants, it's usually about the exact same thing, just different names involved.

While we're about the "reminds me of you" comics, I thought I'd take time to say that Calvin and Hobbes is the Megan comic.  There's some strips that make me laugh, because Calvin's saying things that I can picture Megan saying.


So, here's to you two, the best friends a girl could ask for.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Update on Resolutions

I intend to keep track of how well I accomplish my goals.  That way I can know how much more I need to work.

1- I'm still working on making a new friend.
4- I've lost two pounds this month, which is amazing since I haven't made a point to go to the gym.
5- No regrets yet.
6- I got one project crocheted.  I made a post about that one.
11- I've eaten two to three meals a day every day for the last month.  Pretty impressive feat.
12- Still working on less cynicism.
16- I'm trying my hardest to relax at least twice a week for how much homework I have.
17- I am still not great at large groups.  Trying to go to more big events, though.
20- I read my two books for the month of January.  Spellbound by Lynn Kurland, and Going Postal by Terry Pratchett.

So, that's my update for January.  There will be goals on my list that I can't accomplish until fall semester here at BYU, such as taking a ballroom dance class, and I won't know how close I am to having a 3.4 GPA until the end of winter semester.  And one thing I know is that I can't wait until summer.  It is way too cold.