Where the Romantic and Practical Meet

Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing. 
Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch. 
Young Noah: Would you just stay with me? 
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'. 
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. 
Young Allie: So what? 
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out. 
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt. 
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT? 
Young Allie: It's not that simple. 
Young Noah: What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want? 

This is one time the practical part of me appreciates the little bit of romantic in me. All because Noah says, "It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you."

I'm not saying that people in love have to fight all the time, but I'm certain that people in love don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, and that causes a lot of disagreements. I'm saying that love isn't always happiness. There are a lot of rough spots. I told this to my friend Megan: love has to do with mutual respect and helping each other learn about life, about helping each other become better individuals. And that's hard. People in love fight all the time. It's not easy. It's not about money or careers; it's about finding someone whose character you like, and deciding to tough it out through thick and thin with them. It doesn't have to last forever, but we're meant to learn from it.

This isn't my complete idea of love, it's just scratching the surface of my idea. It may not be an elegant, an experienced, or even a right idea of what love is, but it's a start at what my idea of love is. It will change with time, I'm sure, but I will never believe that real love is purely physical, and I will never believe that it's all about beauty.

Goals Update February 2013

It's that time again. I don't think that it's going as well as I'd like to believe.

1. I really need to get a gym membership to 24 hour fitness or something if I'm going to get this goal off the ground. Dancing is generally the only exercise I do outside of walking all over campus.

2. I read Armageddon in Retrospect by Kurt Vonnegut. Great book.

4. I met my savings goal again!

5. I got the first ten pages of my honors thesis written.

20. I made cards for Valentines Day. And I'm ending on this goal because the other ones are either in progress or aren't happening until later.

Pictures!

Something You Should Know

So many people that want so much of my time.

I'm not an extrovert.
I'm an introvert.

I know that I can be smiley and talkative and interactive at dances, but that doesn't mean I'm extroverted. Quite the contrary: if I want human interaction, I go and find it. If I don't, well, quit contacting me every day!

I realize that most of you who read this already know this about me, but on the off chance someone who tries to contact me every day after seeing me at dance, please stop!

No, I'm not upset.
No, I'm not losing it.
No, something isn't wrong.

I'm simply me.

This means that I want to spend large amounts of my time alone, not contacting anyone.

In other words, this means I want to get some work done and do my own thing.

I'll contact you if there's something to talk about.

Not that this means that I don't enjoy it when someone randomly calls me up (like Kestin does [onsecondthoughtheonlydoesthataboutonceeverysixmonthssothismaynotcount]) or texts me. It simply means that I am not one of those people who craves human contact all the time.

Especially not when I've got a lot of creative things to do.

And when people keep asking me, "Are you okay? What's wrong? You seem, cross, what's up?" it gets on my nerves.

So yes, I'm annoyed, but not for the reason you think. I'm annoyed because you keep asking me if I am. If I tell you I'm fine, I mean it, okay???!!!!

I make a point not to say things I don't mean.

I hope this clears things up for those of you who want to spend time with me. You may think it's a small amount of time because you are so accustomed to hanging out with people and talking to people you care about multiple times a week. I am not accustomed to that much contact, and I have no desire to become accustomed to this.

I appreciate your understanding.

Rant over.

Same Love

I'll let this speak for itself.

Filling Life with Warmth

That unexpected long conversation—the moment you realize that you were missing something simple and your closest friend filled a hole in your life.

It's not a monumentous occasion, but something that clears your head, something that helps you put your priorities straight, helps remind you that there are things important in your life that you'd forgotten.

It makes you smile, makes you connect with another human being on the planet when you've been swimming in a torrential sea.

That instant when you realize that life is going to be okay—someone is there for you when you really need a lift.

The hope to continue on—in return for some sugar cookies, that's what I received tonight.

Blues Bombing a Talent Show

So, I'm posting this on my blog instead of on facebook for several reasons. One, I don't post on here as often as I should. Two, there's a mix of talking and dancing. Three, I figure that only the people really interested in watching me and Griffin dance will take the trouble to come here, so that gets rid of space off of everyone's news feed, I think.

Another hidden reason is that I was really nervous performing in front of everyone, so I didn't do quite as well as I would have liked. But Griffin, bless his heart, made up for it. It was lots of fun. There wasn't a lot of room to dance, so we didn't really do any ballrooming blues. But Griffin's got style.

Anyone who dances blues can probably see the struggle for proper connection for the first little bit. My faltering footwork especially shows that. However, as we got going, I loosened up a bit.

Also, Griffin and I both talk with our hands.

I wish I didn't trace my hair so much when I dance.

Best part of the night: Griffin's hat movement and my 'hide half my face with my hand' maneuver.

Overall, a great night to introduce the blues to a whole bunch of people who had never seen it before.

Merry Go Round

If you ain't got two kids by twenty-one you're probably gonna die alone. At least that's what tradition told you. And it don't matter if you don't believe, come Sunday morning you'd best be there in the front row like you're supposed to.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jack burned out on booze and pills. Mary had a little lamb. Mary just don't give a damn no more.

There's a spot in my heart for those lines in this song.