On This Winter's Night

This is the song that got me in the Christmas spirit this season. I wish I'd found it sooner.

Happy Christmas, everyone!

How 2012 Went

Here's an update on my 2012 New Year's Resolutions. In 2011 I was fantastic at updating them. Life picked up for me this year, so I was much less diligent. However, some great things happened.

1. I went dancing at least twice a week. I count that as exercise.

2. I crocheted something for myself. The afghan is still in progress. It got set aside for dancing/social life.

3. I didn't quite get a 3.55, but I think I'll be really close to that. Grades for Fall haven't been posted yet.

4. The dress didn't get touched. Go figure. Parents are moving, etc.

5. I got all of my great works events done. Now I just have to write papers.

6. I got my Honors thesis proposal submitted. I should hear back in a couple of weeks as to whether it got accepted or not.

7. I got two editing jobs and an internship. I have also applied for another one and a bunch of internships.

8. I got at least two great works papers written. I can't remember how many I've started, but I should be finished with them by mid next year.

9. I didn't learn to cook a new thing each month, but I did manage to do a lot of cooking over the summer where I learned to cook new things. I still consider this goal a success.

10. Things didn't get repacked, but they will have to be by the end of this break because my parents are moving soon after.**

11. I wish I could say I spent less time on the internet. Maybe I did overall, since I have been out dancing a lot, but a lot of my interactions for work and school happen over the internet, so that just isn't as feasible as I'd like it to be.

12. I couldn't manage to keep headphones out of my ears twice a week. I did really well until about September . . .

13. Like I said, all great works events finished. It feels good.

14. I think I can say with assurance that I've been nice to my family.

15. I managed to budget well enough that I am using that money to go to a fusion convention in Vegas in a couple of weeks.

16. I competed in DanceSport. Took 6th in Samba, and was in the top 12 couples in Quickstep.

17. Didn't manage to get the scrapbook pages done, and my mom packed up her scrapbook, so this'll have to wait until next year.

18. I was doing really well at going to the temple each week until about May, and then I just went about once or twice a month. I could do better, I know.

19. I completely failed at reading General Conference talks. I did try and read daily thoughts/scriptures, though. Semi-successful at that.

20. I couldn't find a name of a Cherokee ancestor. The records are pretty well lost. It's really sad to think about, so I don't much.

21. I don't think I managed 24 books for fun, but I'm certain I read a lot.

So, total tally: 11/21***

That's alright, I think. I definitely didn't completely fail all of the goals, and I really feel like I grew a lot this year. Next year I intend to set goals again, because I feel like even accomplishing half of what I write down is good and important. And if I look at what I actually got accomplished, that stuff was really important. Especially the Honors thesis.

** I actually got this goal accomplished before the end of the year.
***12/21 is the final total tally.

Have You Ever Seen the Rain

This has been one of my favorite songs to blues dance to. Karen Souza, Have You Ever Seen the Rain.  I love jazz and blues.

LOVE!

I Believe . . .

It's not about having a lot of people love you; it's about being loved by a few really good people.

My Dances

I don't think I've ever shown anyone what I do with nearly all my spare (and not so spare) time. So, without further ado, here's my dances. Just remember, I'm really nowhere near as good as this. I just aspire to be.

This is James Cook and Shalay Branch dancing a west coast after a great night of dancing at Westify. I take private lessons from James, and I've taken a few group lessons from Shalay. They're great. I love to watch them dance together.

I'm not so lucky to have a video of the best blues dancers in our community, but I certainly have some favorite youtube videos.

This is how good I aspire to be.

But this is more like what we do.

Blues is far and away my favorite dance. It helps me get all my emotions out and express what I'm feeling. It's all about the connection, the conversation with my partner.

So, this is what I do.

:)

Some Things I Believe

I am a firm believer that it is better to live a life that you are comfortable with than to live one where you feel like you are living a lie.

I believe in doing what makes you happy.

I believe that you should never let someone's opinion make you feel like you have to do something to make others happy.

Live life your way, on your own terms. 

Age is Relative

They shall bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing. ~Psalm 92:14

"Age is more a matter of how you feel, how you think, and what's going on in your head than what's going on in your feet." Gordon B. Hinckley said that.

And you know what? I completely agree.

I wish more people would get in on that idea. Then no one would say they won't do something because they're "too old."

Just thought I'd share something that I love with y'all today.

New Beginnings

My closest friend in Provo left to Texas yesterday. Hopefully, he'll be back sometime next year, but that knowledge didn't dull the pain and loss I felt last week. I've got a confession to make: I don't become close friends with people because I hate goodbyes. It's much easier to let go of people you don't know very well.

But I've discovered, from my friendship with Eric, that it is worth it to become close enough to your friends that you love them. If you don't get close to people, you don't grow. And I grew more in my five months of knowing Eric than I had in the six months before I knew him.

And another thing I've discovered from this parting is that when one person leaves, another person comes into your life to help you. That person, for me, was Nathan.

Left: Kristin
Right: Nathan

Nathan didn't take Eric's place. He isn't trying to. And I'm not trying to replace Eric. Eric is irreplaceable. But Nathan is teaching me things that Eric couldn't. Nathan's a great guy, and I look forward to a new friendship. I'm still learning to not hold back, but I'm moving forward every day, which is what's important. Nathan won't let me move backward, either.

So, here's to new beginnings, growing, and moving forward. May the next five months be as fruitful as the last five.

Little Talks

This song's been out for awhile, but I love it, and thought I'd share it, especially since it's been so long since my last music post. And the music video is just cool.

In a Weird Place

I realize that I haven't posted an actual post about me for awhile now, mostly just pictures and music videos. So, I thought I'd post about Austin Blues Party. Here goes nothing!

The Car Ride

This was actually taken on the ride back, but I figure I can sum up both car rides at the beginning. The drive is approximately 22 hours long. We managed the drive down to Pflugerville (yes it is a real place. Look it up. Pflugerville, between a rock and a weird place, as natives say [which includes Eric]) in 21 hours, and the drive back up to Utah in 24. We played music the entire time. So, if you think about it, with three days worth of dancing and two days worth of driving, we listened to approximately five days straight of music.

I think the picture above was taken somewhere around 2 AM. We did the drive all in one go. And at 2 AM, if you're the driver, dancing to the music with your finger seems a fantastic way to stay entertained.

On the way down, I drove for the first twelve hours. Straight. So, I drove long enough to see the sunset and the sunrise. When we hit Albuquerque, I put in one of my mix CDs that started with a Bob Marley song. And at this point, some of the guys were awake again (I should mention, I was the only girl in this car. There was me, Richard, Eric, and Aldo). As we were passing through, there were cool rocks that weren't actually rocks. They were like these light thingies that changed color. Yes, they were actually there. But it was fun, because Eric looks at them and says, "Hey, we start listening to Bob Marley and the world gets colorful!"

And Holy Goodness, there's nothing like a sunrise in Texas. I may never live in Texas or like everything about it, but the sunrise was gorgeous. Of course, since I was driving, I didn't get a picture, but if I can draw your attention to the sunrise in The Lion King, that's what it looked like. A huge sun, not impeded by the mountains, changing the sky to pink, red, purple, and orange as it rose like a big ball of fire. Yeah, amazing.

Eric was a sweetheart both on the way there and on the way back. He let me fall asleep curled up next to him on the backseat even though I'm certain it was uncomfortable for him and he didn't get to sleep because I took up all the room to get comfy.

In Austin

At the Capitol. From left to right: me, Eric, Aldo, Richard.

We had a whole day to spend before Blues Party started, so we had Eric show us some of the stuff going on in Austin. We went to the capitol building, which is the largest in the United States. Go figure. Go big or go home in Texas.

Speaking of go big or go home, Richard had a super monster burrito at Freebirds, and managed to eat it all. Well, all but an inch of it.

And we went into some awesome little shops, including a hat shop. The boys had more options in the store than I did, but it was fun to take pictures.

In the evening we went to Congress Avenue Bridge and watched 1.5 million bats fly out from under the bridge. It was really cool to see. I couldn't get any good pictures.

Austin Blues Party

The last night of ABP. We couldn't find Richard anywhere, but we got a picture anyway.

That night we went dancing. And then the next day we went dancing, and then that night, and the next day, and the next night. We started at 10ish Friday night, ended at 4 AM, got up and went to classes from 11 AM to 5ish, and then started dancing at 8 and went to 4 AM, and then started at 1 PM Sunday and went to 3 AM Monday morning. So, a lot of dancing. A lot of fun. Eric won the beginner Jack and Jill with our friend Kera. So, he gets to go to Austin Blues Party for free next year.

One funny thing that happened on Sunday--we were in a class where Heidi and Dexter were teaching how to let your follow play and add input to the dance. She says, "And maybe I do this, and that inspires him."

A girl in the class says, "Oh, is that what they're calling it now?"

So, it is a running joke that we get "inspired" by dance moves. 

Richard gave a great line that night, too. He said, "Blues dance is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire."

We laughed so hard. Priceless.

You probably had to be there for everything to be funny or make sense. Or at least be a blues dancer.

Come Over

"I want to write 'I miss you' on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you."

There's always going to be that someone who's no good for me, but who I just keep going back to.

You and Tequila

Make me crazy. Old song, but I'm really feeling it lately.

Realize

Quick update. So, after over a week up at Bear Lake, I'm pretty relaxed and ready to buckle down and get to where I can take my psychology midterm. I'm also to the point where I've realized something. My feelings are worth more than what I most recently had my heart set on. I've decided that I'm going to take a few chances, get to know someone new, play by my own rules, and enjoy life a little bit more than I have before. Yup. That's definitely on my top five priority list, right behind finish up my psychology class and pay for Austin Blues Party.

Less Than a Week, Yet . . .

I never thought I would ever miss Provo, so I was rather surprised at how badly I miss it now. I realized why. I've never felt this welcome in a group, ever, and so leaving it, even for a couple of weeks, is really rather painful.

People:

• Eric
• Hailey
• Tia
• James
• Griffin
• Kelsey
• Cody
• Victoria

Events:

• The campfire and Blues dancing (The Pagan Pit, we call it) at Eric's every Monday night.
• West Coast Swing at South Town Swing every Tuesday.
• Sammy's runs.
• The occasional Denny's run.
• Getting ready for Blues at Hailey's and Tia's house. 
• Blues dancing at Blue Tango every Thursday night.
• Random weekly outings with Eric.
• Hugs.
• Random phone calls and texts from Eric.
• Girls nights with Tia and Hailey.
• Late nights talking with roomies.
• Dinners with Cody and Kelsey.
• Teasing, and being teased by, Cody.
• The short, but great talks with Griffin.

I'm going to make sure I spend all the time I can with these guys when I get back in town. And boy, am I going to appreciate every moment.

Wide Awake

Yeah, I know it's tacky, but I do like this song and the only decent version I could find was in the form of a lyric video. And I'm posting it anyway. Sometimes it happens. Eric and I danced to it the other week, and I thought it was a good song, albeit not a good song to west coast to. It's more of a night club two step type of song. I feel like it's been a long time since I posted anything like this on here, and it is weird for me that it is Katy Perry because I generally don't like her music all that much.

But this song was really what I was feeling last night and tonight, and so I felt it was something I needed to share to help get things off my chest. Yet another tacky, generally overused and overrated way of doing that, but still, since when have I been known not to do something simply because it is tacky? After being brutally reminded of exactly where my place in life is, I feel I'm allowed a little tacky.

Misreading signs sucks, and not having anyone to fall back on to help you through it isn't cool either. Still, picking myself up, moving onwards and upwards. There's only so far I can let myself fall. But I'll probably be up all night again tonight. Don't expect too much outgoing-happiness energy on my part for the next couple weeks or so.

Yumminess and a Friend

I have an awesome best friend that comes over and watches Sherlock with me while doing puzzles and then in between all that makes cake balls with me. We were up till past midnight making them. And they were sooo yummy. We don't get together all the time, but that doesn't matter. If one of us doesn't feel like doing something, we don't mind. There are always other times to hang out. And when we do hang out, we always seem to end up doing puzzles and watching movies.

Megan wasn't exactly thrilled that I was taking her picture. It was ridiculously late, after all.

So here's to my one great friend from my hometown, who has stayed friends with me no matter what.

This weekend she took time out of her horribly busy schedule to go get churros with me. Actually, Taco Time was out of churros, so we got empenadas instead. And she bought mine for me. She's an awesome friend.

An Unexpected Gift

I saved up for the last five or six months to buy a bicycle. Last Friday my dad said, "Why don't we go look at bikes?" So we went to Kent's and I found a bike I really liked, but they told me that they had the same bike in a medium frame that they could have built for me to try tomorrow, and then I could decide which one I wanted. So I decided to wait to decide if I wanted the small or the medium frame. We all went out to dinner and then to see Avengers.

The next day my mom and I went to run errands, and when we were finished running errands we stopped by Kent's. I decided on the smaller bike frame. When I went to pay for it, it had already been paid for. My dad got it for me.

I am so grateful to have a Dad that loves me this much.

It's a cross between a road bike and a mountain bike, so it has a little wider tires so if I get on dirt I won't be in trouble. And it has front shocks. Those are way nice. The bike is awesome. I love riding it. 

Double HAAY

So, there's a reason this is a double HAAY. That reason is because I think these two guys are really good looking when they're playing these characters, but their hotness factor goes down a lot when they aren't playing these roles. I feel the same way about Johnny Depp. He's only HAAY worthy when he's Captain Jack Sparrow. I don't know what it is, but with Cumberbatch and Hiddleston I suspect it's the hair.

May I present Loki, the criminal mastermind alien . . . 

and Sherlock, the high-functioning sociopath consulting detective.

Tonight's Great Lines

"So I was in the shower, naked, wet, and going to Russia . . ."

"I started whistling the Tetris theme in the shower, and the Ukrainian guy across the way starts whistling it in perfect harmony with me."

"A flaming lemur is always better than a regular lemur, whether the flaming lemur is gay or actually on fire."

"What if we stood in grocery stores and the food chose who got to eat it?"

"You'd feel sorry for the guy that the hot dogs picked time and time again."

"Within six hours of my knowing him, the waitresses at Denny's thought we were together. They put our tabs together and whatnot."

"Oh yeah! I heard that through the grapevine."

"How did I get this hat?"

"It's the traveling hat."

"You really don't know how to skateboard, do you?"

"We're working with the negative space."

"Turn the music up!"

"We can't. The cops have already come and told us to turn it down."

"But we weren't even that loud to begin with!"

"Apparently there have been several complaints."

"Smoke follows beauty."

"Well that's a long leap when you look at this."

I don't know. Maybe you just had to be there for all this to be funny.

Great night at my first bonfire/blues/west coast night. Thanks Kimber, for having a birthday. And thanks Eric, for putting it all together. I can think of no better way to spend a Monday night.

Crazy on Your Face

Before Blues:

Hailey: You're wearing my red pants. And this shirt. With a black tank top under it. Make sure to tuck the tank top in. It's all about rockin' the pants.

Me: Man, this makes my ass look fine.

Hailey: It totally does.

Tia: Can I do your makeup?

Me: Yep.

Tia: You already have base on?

Me: Yep.

There's a pause as I sit down to let her do my eye makeup.

Tia: Your eyes. I've never seen that shade of green before! It's like a green with blue in it!

Tia gets ridiculously close to my face to see my eyes.

Tia: Thanks for letting me go all crazy on your face.

Me: No problem.

Tia: Now for lipstick.

She starts applying it.

Tia: I'm actually not all that great at putting lipstick on other people. You can go ahead and finish that.

I finish putting it on and put mascara on.

Tia: You look so gorgeous.

At Blues:

Several guys throughout the night say: You're rockin' those red pants. You look fantastic in those pants. You really look good in those pants.

I tell a couple of guys: They aren't actually my pants. They're Hailey's.

Random guy from an hour or so earlier in the night comes up to me and says: You're rockin' those pants and they're not even yours!?

And what do we really do at Blues? See how many people we can pack on a couch.

After Blues:

So many talks about random stuff which included torturing Nathan with awesome mail. But it would be way too expensive to send a door to Peru.

The things that go on when I go dancing.

Skateboard Jousting

This is the type of stuff we get up to in college when we have too much time on our hands. We made this for a big activity/competition thing between the FHE groups.

It All Made Sense at Denny's

Went to Denny's with the group after blues. Sat next to Nathan and Hailey. Hailey ended up moving over to accommodate other people (there were like fourteen people there). Laughed and talked with a tired, dance-drunk Nathan. Almost fell asleep on his shoulder. We order nearly the same thing: same drink, same entree, but different kinds of eggs and pancakes. Laugh, giggle, tired, time to go. Tabs come out.

Waitress: Are you two together?
Me: Huh? Us?
Waitress: Yeah.
Me: No.
Waitress: Oh. Let me go split your tab then.
Me: You hear that Nathan? You should feel proud and complimented. Just one night and they think we're together!
Nathan: What?
Me: They had to go split our tab. They thought we were together.
Nathan: Haha. That's awesome. We're just cool like that.
Hailey: You two just have that happy glow.

Methinks the start of some awesome friendships. Hooked on blues. Hooked on blues bad. Late night Denny's is just a bonus. Nathan's leaving after tonight and won't be back until August. If I'm not there when he comes back, he says he's going to "look me down and hunt me up." Yeah, we were tired. It all made sense at Denny's.

Twist and Shout

This is for all you people who have been so caught up in finals that you don't think you've seen anything good in the past few days.

Now, you have at least seen something good this week. Don't thank me, thank Ferris.

A Trip to My Musical Past

I decided to create a Christina Aguilera channel on my Pandora. I didn't know exactly what I'd be getting, but after I disliked the Brittany Spears, Pandora started playing a bunch of really good music from my past. A bunch of R&B music that I listened to growing up. I know that a lot of my friends didn't listen to this stuff, but some of my best memories are listening to R&B and rap in the car with my cousins. We usually listened to Usher, Nelly, and Eminem*. Of course I listened to Christina Aguilera. I also listened to Samantha Mumba. She isn't even in the music business now, but I really love this song that she sings.

It makes me feel great inside. And I really do miss this decade of music. I find myself going back to it almost as often as I go back to the Frank Sinatra and saloon song era. Why? Because things like R&B Country crossovers happened back then.

Why? Because the music was less electronic and had more variety. I'm not saying there weren't electronic sounds incorporated, but it didn't rely completely on synthesizers and such to get the sound. The tunes are just so much catchier to me because of that.

Why? Because it is my decade of music, full of Jesse McCartney, Justin Timberlake, Nelly, Usher, Chamillionaire, Eminem, Beyonce, Missy Eliot, Pink, Lil Kim, T-Pain, 50 Cent, and Christina Aguilera, to name a few. 

Don't get me wrong, I listened to a lot of alternative rock and country as well, but there will always be a special place in my heart for this kind of music.

* And yes, I did leave out a song by Eminem in this post because of all the artists I listen to, I realize most people are uncomfortable with Eminem's music, and I have to be in a very specific mood to play Eminem. 

One Person

I've had a really huge range of emotions that I've swung back and forth through this past week. I think it has a lot to do with me brooding over not being able to get a date. And I'm not talking about a serious "I really like you and want you to be my boyfriend" type of date. I'm just talking about going out with a guy as friends.

I realize that I shouldn't be upset over it, and I get over it and get really happy. And then I think how fun it would be if I had a guy friend that wanted to go dancing with me on Thursday nights, and I get upset again. What is so wrong with me that I can't even have a guy go out with me as a friend to have fun?

I've asked myself that a lot lately.

For awhile I thought it was because I just didn't make myself available to do things, so I made myself more available. Then when nothing happened I thought it was because I wasn't outgoing enough, so I tried to be more outgoing. And then when nothing happened I thought that I just needed to ask guys to do stuff with me every now and then, so I did. And every guy tells me no. Something must be seriously wrong with me; that's my next thought.

It really comes down to finding one person that wants to go do things with me. And I really hate that it is one person that can make a difference for better or for worse. My friend James posted this on his facebook, and I thought it seemed appropriate.

The Only Physics I Want

After this semester is over, the only time I want to listen to anything to do with physics is when I'm watching The Big Bang Theory. Wish me luck to make it through these next two weeks with final projects and finals. Right now I'm probably attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.

In the Chicken Coop

For my family history class, we were encouraged to get to know more about our ancestors than just their birth and death dates. I was reminded that my Great Grandma Palmer recorded a bunch of her life stories on tape before she died. After she died, my family would occasionally listen to them for family home evening. I looked back, and here are a couple of my favorites.

My grandma was a master gardner, and she had a favorite hoe. She'd take that thing with her every time she went outside and get the weeds out of her flowers. That hoe was like her best friend. And one day it broke. She was devastated. That hoe had been through a lot of gardening with her! So she kept the stick, and used it as her walking stick from then on. And she bought a new hoe. 

And I remember that walking stick, because my brother and I used to play with it all the time. We played with the new hoe too. I didn't know the significance of the stick until after she died, though.

And when my grandma was little, she used to go to the chicken coop every now and then to get some eggs and take them to the local store. She could trade them for sweets. (I really wish that the world was like that now. I mean, you can't trust anyone like that anymore.)

Gardening and chicken coops just seem to be engrained in my mind as part of my Great Grandma Palmer's legacy.

When my grandma and grandpa (that's how I knew them, not as great grandparents, but just another set of grandparents) were a young married couple, they'd been out, and when they got home my grandpa went out to check on the chickens before he went to bed. My grandma either didn't know this, or forgot, and she locked the door and went to bed. Well, my grandpa came back and tried to get in the house, but it was locked, and he couldn't wake her up!

It was a cold night, and since he couldn't get in the house, he slept in the chicken coop! My grandma felt terrible when she discovered him there in the morning, sleeping with the chickens to keep warm. She laughed about it when she told the story, though.

I miss my great grandma, but I am grateful for the legacy she left behind.

A Goal Accomplished

So, in my New Year's Resolutions for this year, I set a goal to crochet something for myself. Got that done, and I'm pretty happy about that.

I still don't know quite what to think of it, but it did use up two skeins of extra yarn I had in my closet. I've gotten a lot of compliments on the bag, so maybe it looks better than I think it does. And I probably think it doesn't look as fantastic as I was expecting because I made it and know what little mistakes I made. 

But hey, a goal checked off the list.

One down.

And for those of you who didn't already know, I did actually compete in Dancesport a few weeks ago. So there's another goal checked off the list.

Two down.

And nineteen more to go! We'll see how I do.

HAAY #2

I haven't done a HAAY for awhile now, and I thought that this would be a good week to do it because this week (other than one really great bright shining spot yesterday) hasn't been so great.

Yes, yes he is a country singer. With a handsome voice to go with that handsome face.

His latest hit, Time is Love.

And one of my favorites:

And the song that made him big:

I like a lot of his music, and I could go on for a lot more videos, but I realize that most people aren't going to watch all three that I have posted here anyways, so I'll stop. Still, enjoy!

My Only Swerving

El Ten Eleven —they remind me of M83, and I like them. And just a side note not related to this band in the least . . . M83 is coming to SLC on April 29. And I'm debating about going to their concert. Anyone interested in going?

A Much Needed Break

This weekend I took a much needed break. I'll probably pay for it this week by not having homework done, but oh well. I went home. On Friday my mom called and told me that my brother had two free tickets to go see Rare Bird at the University of Utah (he crewed the show), and that he was going to buy us one more, and so my mom, my dad, and I went to the show. It was awesome. Afterwards we went to Gourmandise for dessert. Tiramisu is one of the best desserts ever made.

Saturday was pretty chill. Sleeping in, lunch at Maddox, fun projects, the Big Bang Theory. I made a purse of sorts (pictures to come . . . maybe) and some cake balls and some kiwi lime sorbet.

My mom wanted to make them look like clovers, but we didn't have the little stem, so it didn't work out as well as we wanted. Still, they tasted good.

Lisa enjoying the mint chocolate.

My kiwi lime sorbet. It was ridiculously good.

If there's enough demand, I may add my recipe to my blog. So if you want it, comment!

And then on Sunday I went to church, of course. Sat next to my friend Ryan Taylor. It was nice to see him, since I never do anymore, what with me living in Provo and him in Plain City. Then I went to my Uncle Scott's and Aunt Carol's house for our annual St. Patrick's day dinner. Yeah, it was the day after St. Patrick's, but everyone was still in the spirit. However, I got pictures of only my cousin's ridiculously cute kids. Other people in the photos are in them just because Tajsha and Junior were with them. Cute kids. Fun evening. Now if it would quit snowing and get warm again, I'd be content for the week.

Grandma Vickie, Junior, and Tajsha 

Bailey and Tajsha

Grandpa June and Tajsha

Great weekend.

Insensitive

Flashback to the nineties! Anyone besides me listen to Jann Arden? I'm really feeling her music this week.

The Worst Poison

"Perfume and a good dance. Best tasting poison I've ever had the displeasure and foolishness to take willingly . . ."

My friend said that. 

He's right.

He's the same way I am. I'm the same way he is. I am always telling friends to "just go for it," and "you'll never know unless you ask," and "if you like him you should make sure to hang out with him more often until he asks you out," and "you should just ask him out; who says that guys are the only ones who can do the asking?" But I'm too chicken. I just assume that if he wanted to ask me out he would have done so a long time ago. I've come a long way from where I was; I ran away from what I was and what I thought I wanted; I came to something new, and better than the last try. But I'm afraid to try again. And I never get closure.

"Why the hell don't you jump? Try? 'You can only get closure' is what you would tell anyone that asked for your opinion. You'd make it seem so simple. They'd try it and say you were right as you either congratulated them or comforted them; either way you both know they did the right thing. But you? No such courage, no such sense to follow your own 'good advice'."

He said that.

Sounds familiar, right here in my head.

Cry Me A River

Arthur Hamilton wrote this song, and lots of people have sung it over the years, but there are two versions that surpass all others in my mind. Ella Fitzgerald does an awesome version of this song. And Julie London's version is in V for Vendetta, and I really like it. Of those two versions, I really probably prefer Ella's version, so I'm posting it here.

This is the kind of music I've been into for the past month or so. It is my music staple, really. I'm a sucker for Frank Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James, and Billie Holiday. Give me them saloon songs anytime. I love 'em.

Baking on the Holidays

Awhile back, I tried to make some cake balls. It was disastrous. I tried again last semester, and things turned out a little better, but it was hard. For Valentines Day, my mom bought me a book full of cake ball designs. I tried a design out this weekend. It was fun, and a lot easier than the first two times. Hopefully as I do it more things will get easier. I'll let you see if you can guess what they're supposed to look like (besides yummy).

The first one of the batch

The more I did it, the easier it was. I managed about half without sticks. Next time I go home I think I'll try tigers. Can you all tell what these are supposed to be?

They're owls.

Some Valentines Fun

This year I decided to make some cards for Valentines Day. I really think I could get into this card making stuff. Just as much fun as scrapbooking, but infinitely less time consuming.

My favorite card

And a couple of weeks before I made these, this showed up at my door one morning.

I couldn't get a good picture, but it says, "Hope you know that you are loved!"

It made my day. And on Valentines Day, I got a card and a rose from my friend Jenessa Halliday.

Don't mind the messy room in the background.