Phases

A lot of times I feel like I'm two different people.  One part of me is happy and fun, and the other part is easily hurt and doesn't want to try my hand at socializing or dating ever again.  Sure, supposedly it's just a phase.  Right?  I'll get over it and should get over my concerned phase right now?

Someone tells me I'm amazing, and I want to think I am; truly I do.  However, I just can't quite make myself believe it, because there's that other half of me that says, "Come on.  You've already screwed up one of the most important decisions a person is supposedly supposed to make.  Obviously you can't be that great.  Settle for mediocre.  Mediocre is right where you belong."

Then there's that feeling in my bones that says, "You're worth so much more than you yet realize.  You are meant for something greater.  Wait and see.  Something so amazing is going to come your way that it will make people envious to see you so happy."

You know, it is times like these that I really worry that I'm bipolar.  Soon, I'm just going to turn into a mix of Brennan and House, and be happy in my own strange little way.  It's the holidays doing this to me.  Think it will ever change?  Maybe next Christmas?  I think I'd better work rather hard at it.