Levels

I start school in three days.  So I should start packing up all the stuff I'm going to take from home to my apartment in Provo.  There's only one problem: I'm way too lazy to do anything but watch the Jazz game.  I think I feel a spurt of energy to do something, and then I get up, and it's gone.

There's levels of lazy.  There's the level where you aren't actually being lazy, but are just busy with stuff that isn't what you are supposed to be busy with.  One can say that they accomplished much in a day, but not the important stuff, ergo they were lazy.  Next comes the "I did two things today" kind of lazy.  You get one or two small things done, and then just lounge.  Finally, there's the extremely lazy.  You just relax all day and when you realize you need to do things so you won't be stressed the next day you simply don't care.  I'm in the don't care stage.

Also, I've been contemplating what level of failure in life is acceptable.  There's group failure, which can be collaborative; each person could fail in a small way, which brings the failure level up higher for the group.  Of course, there's always that time when one person in the group utterly fails to do what they have been assigned, and that just makes the group failure level soar.

Singular failure levels vary depending on what each person considers failure.  Some would consider stay at home moms failures because they didn't have successful careers in the world; most stay at home moms would disagree and say that those who don't have families and only focus on careers are failing in life.  It's all very subjective to individual beliefs, goals, and values.

Then there's my personal failure level.  How much of it can one squeeze by with?  How many classes can I withdraw from without disappointing my dad?  I have this calculus class that I'm retaking online; I passed it the first time, but just barely, and I was hoping for a better grade.  The textbook was all that I had to pull money out of my account for, but it was near 200 dollars for the textbook with the online mymathlab software.  I've already withdrawn from two other classes: one was paid for by the government, and the other my dad paid for.  Given, I've passed three other government paid for classes, so it all works out in the wash when it comes to my dad paying for one class.  I'm really not out any money there.

However, not withdrawing and stressing myself to finish this four credit hour class could destroy my ability to perform well this next semester.  Not withdrawing from the class would put me at 22 credit hours; the maximum amount of credit hours allowed by BYU is 18.  I would still have my English 292 class online if I withdrew, making my credit hour total 18.  Then I would be within limits for BYU and be better able to manage my schedule to do well in all of my classes.  That's most likely what I'll end up doing, but it'll definitely eat at me for the entire semester for not functioning those three months while I was getting my marriage annulled.  Complete failure to function; you can add that to my list.  The consequences of not being able to do so in a time of emotional trauma aren't very nice.  I guess it's only money.