Blank Slate

This morning as I was toddling out to feed my rabbits, the bitter cold wind striking my face repeatedly and taking away any feelings of tiredness I could possibly have, I realized how often my mind is just blank during the day. It is in my sleep when my mind runs wild. All my inspiration for life comes from my dreams. Also, a lot of what I dream actually ends up happening. For instance, one night when I was in Monterey I dreamt that my car battery went dead in the middle of town. The next day, I went into town to get something to eat from my favorite restaurant, Nifty Fifties Cafe, and when I went back to my car the car battery was dead. My only thoughts after I called AAA was that I had just dreamt that the same thing happened the night earlier. From that point on my mind was blank. I have many more examples, but they all tend to be very unpleasant things that happened, so I put that one here.

I'm not sure that the whole "blank slated" mind is a good thing, but I sure have one. My mind absorbs the information it needs while I'm awake, throwing away all the pieces that I am not going to use for my future purposes, and then dream up what I'm going to do with it at night. This could quite possibly be why I am only mediocre at a lot of things, and not good at anything. As I push myself through life I only grasp the necessary things for the time, I don't keep things that I may need for later stashed away.

This, in some strange way, also explains why I like to sleep so much. I may wake up upset with myself for having wasted so much time that could have been used for productive things, like cleaning the house, doing yard work, or completing homework, but my mind does tend to feel like it's been moving towards some amazing end which will determine how I use the rest of the small spark of life I have. I don't have to do something as amazing as Emperor Napoleon, but it would be nice to believe that I'm building up to something that will leave a mark no one will forget in this world.