2014: A New Chapter

Yeah yeah yeah, New Years resolutions again? I hear ya. But it really does help me. And I think it's important now more than ever for me to make them. Why? Well, because I'm waiting to see if I made it into any graduate school. And that means that for a few months, I won't know if I'm going to grad school. This also means that if I don't get into grad school, I'd better have one killer backup plan ready—otherwise known as a life plan. I probably won't have many goals written down like I have in the past. So many of those were school oriented, and now that I'm not in school, they're gone. I am not going to put down so many small ones like I did before; it seems silly for me to write down things like "be more religious" or "make so many of this and that" when it seems to me that those goals are either just for the sake of saying I did it or too vague to actually measure progress. So my goals are going to be specific this year. And I am going to give explanations for these goals because then I will remember exactly why I chose to be that specific. More things may or may not be added to this list over the course of the year. But these are the five main goals:


1: Communicate what I'm thinking and feeling to people when pertinent.

• Yes, the word pertinent needs to be there. I will always subscribe to privacy and decency in regards to what I tell people and when. The key here is that I have caused myself, and others, a lot of problems in the recent past because I have been unable to communicate what I am thinking and feeling even though I recognized I needed to. Recognition may be the first step to change, but I've recognized this for almost all of last year, and it really has always been out of hand. I need to realize that I am not being ridiculous when I feel or think something that I legitimately am having a problem with, or even simply enjoying. If I don't communicate, then the people I care about will never know.

2: Write something and try and get it published: novel, essay, short stories—something.

• If I don't keep up my writing, then I'll be rusty if I get accepted into graduate school. And if I'm going to use writing as part of my livelihood, then there's no better time like the present to get started on something. I did put my short stories from my thesis into different competitions, and they'll be published for the public to read if I win, but if I don't then I really ought to keep trying. And if I do get published, well, then that's good! And I can add that to a list of firsts. The point is, if I don't keep writing, I'll have a harder time picking up the pen, or the keyboard, if you will, again.

3: Get a full time job.

• I do freelance. Also known as odd jobs. The work isn't consistent. When I get it, it pays well. However, it would be fantastic to secure something that will ensure I get a steady paycheck so I could possibly move into my own flat without roommates—or choose my flatmate. The point is, while I do have a housing contract that doesn't end until August, if I had a better job then I wouldn't be so worried about where I'm going in life. Also, if I don't get into graduate school, then this will make me feel loads better about my situation.

4: Read more philosophy books.

• I had a fantastic Shakespeare professor who gave me a list of philosophy books to read when she found out I had read some Althusser, Heidegger, Adorno and Horkheimer, Saussere, and other literary criticism. The thing is, no matter which way I slice it, I'm going to have more time. I have work, and that work will be done between certain hours, but there is no homework, per se. I get to choose what I do. And this is something I really think I'll not only enjoy, but benefit from. Even though I'm not in school anymore, I fully intend to continue my education, and this will be a great way to do that.

5: Exercise

• I don't have a once a week or twice a week put on the end of this for a reason. I don't like the stress of thinking that I should stop trying if I'm not going to buy a gym pass and use it regularly. I have a friend who wants me to get a 24 Hour Fitness pass so I can go there and we'd have a workout buddy system, but I'm not sure yet. I do know that my family has an elliptical and bike I can use, as well as a weight system. When I'm visiting them, I do use those. Consistently. But when I'm not visiting, well, it's harder to want to exercise in the winter months. It's cold outside so I don't want to go for long walks and bike rides. So when I say that I have a goal to exercise, it's more of a goal to maintain weight than to lose it; it's more of a goal to enjoy time doing things I like instead of torturing myself about not being able to bench press such and such a weight. It's about staying active and enjoying life, whether that is dancing, biking, walking, swimming, or any other activity that I enjoy.