Too Soon?

So, opinions on this one would be nice. It's been two months since the whole thing with my ex-husband went on. I had been away from him for eight out of the nine months of the marriage, and that created a barrier between us on top of his problems. I'm not going to say I didn't love the guy, but when someone is away that long you have to completely rebuild your relationship with them. Obviously, Nik was a completely different person than the one I married. So, in my mind, the eight counts as part of the whole shebang that I name the two month period, which equals ten months altogether. There is now official closure from the court, and I'm completely relieved, but with that relief comes some confusion.

I feel completely ready to move on with my life, and this includes the dating part. However, most people, in my mind, are looking at this as a just got over with it situation, that I should wait before I think about dating again. They look at it as a short period of two months that should be extended so I can become an emotionally stable person. Well, here's my problem, in essence--I currently recognize myself as an emotionally stable person capable of intimate interaction with members of the opposite sex. Having a relationship with another man is essential to my full reintegration into single society, and until I do that I won't be able to fully reacclimatize.

When I talked to Brandon Campbell yesterday I happened to mention that I had an ex-husband when he was talking about speaking portuguese. Brandon couldn't hide the complete shock and uncertainty from his face. The shock was expected, but then the continual glances of confusion about my stability were very apparent. Is this how all guys are going to look at me from now on?* How am I supposed to date someone who is just dating me out of pity, or for that matter, how am I even going to get a date when the guy is just expecting it to be a rebound on my part?

Also, I'm particularly attracted and interested in a guy that currently resides in Virginia Beach**. I liked him before I had even thought about getting married, and he seemed to like me, but he had a girlfriend at the time and nothing ever happened, and then I got engaged. The rest is history. Anyways, I find that I am still attracted to him, but since he's in Virginia Beach it is kind of inconvenient for me to tell him and to find out if there would be a chance for us. He's also four years older than me. Is that a bad thing? Does he just look at me and see a kid who just has a passing crush on him (I have this huge fear that he knows and just isn't telling me he doesn't want to date me because he's nice like that)? I'm really quite a coward at heart, so I really doubt I'm ever going to ask him. There's a chance, but it is slim. I am generally comfortable with the guy initiating the relationship.

Personally, I feel like someone inexperienced and insecure by posing these questions, but I feel like writing my feelings down allows me to assess my situation and know how to proceed. Usually writing clears my head, but this just won't go away until it is absolved. The largest problem is that he is in Virginia and I would prefer to confront him in person instead of over the phone or via text message. The latter two ways just seem too impersonal to me. It's obvious to me I'm going to have to work up the courage to tell him since I can't have peace until I do. So, do I wait nearly three months and then ask, not ask at all, or what?

* Particularly pertaining to guys of my same religion.

** This guy doesn't live in Virginia. He lives here in Plain City. See the first HAAY I posted. That's the guy.