Showing posts with label BYU. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BYU. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Less Than a Week, Yet . . .

I never thought I would ever miss Provo, so I was rather surprised at how badly I miss it now. I realized why. I've never felt this welcome in a group, ever, and so leaving it, even for a couple of weeks, is really rather painful.

People:
  • Eric
  • Hailey
  • Tia
  • James
  • Griffin
  • Kelsey
  • Cody
  • Victoria
Events:
  • The campfire and Blues dancing (The Pagan Pit, we call it) at Eric's every Monday night.
  • West Coast Swing at South Town Swing every Tuesday.
  • Sammy's runs.
  • The occasional Denny's run.
  • Getting ready for Blues at Hailey's and Tia's house. 
  • Blues dancing at Blue Tango every Thursday night.
  • Random weekly outings with Eric.
  • Hugs.
  • Random phone calls and texts from Eric.
  • Girls nights with Tia and Hailey.
  • Late nights talking with roomies.
  • Dinners with Cody and Kelsey.
  • Teasing, and being teased by, Cody.
  • The short, but great talks with Griffin.
I'm going to make sure I spend all the time I can with these guys when I get back in town. And boy, am I going to appreciate every moment.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Tonight's Great Lines

"So I was in the shower, naked, wet, and going to Russia . . ."

"I started whistling the Tetris theme in the shower, and the Ukrainian guy across the way starts whistling it in perfect harmony with me."

"A flaming lemur is always better than a regular lemur, whether the flaming lemur is gay or actually on fire."

"What if we stood in grocery stores and the food chose who got to eat it?"
"You'd feel sorry for the guy that the hot dogs picked time and time again."

"Within six hours of my knowing him, the waitresses at Denny's thought we were together. They put our tabs together and whatnot."
"Oh yeah! I heard that through the grapevine."

"How did I get this hat?"
"It's the traveling hat."

"You really don't know how to skateboard, do you?"

"We're working with the negative space."

"Turn the music up!"
"We can't. The cops have already come and told us to turn it down."
"But we weren't even that loud to begin with!"
"Apparently there have been several complaints."

"Smoke follows beauty."
"Well that's a long leap when you look at this."

I don't know. Maybe you just had to be there for all this to be funny.

Great night at my first bonfire/blues/west coast night. Thanks Kimber, for having a birthday. And thanks Eric, for putting it all together. I can think of no better way to spend a Monday night.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Skateboard Jousting

This is the type of stuff we get up to in college when we have too much time on our hands. We made this for a big activity/competition thing between the FHE groups.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Stand Up Against Hate

I grabbed a school newspaper yesterday to read about the new Natural History Museum, but as I turned the page to finish the article, I came across this.


It made me sick then, and it makes me sick now.  The last part is what really gets me.  If you're against LGBT hate like this, stand up against it.  I mean, do we really want to condone the words "Just as if we wouldn't want a child to grow up with a prostitute for a mother or a serial killer for a father, we shouldn't accept a lesbian, gay, or transgender parental model for young people"?  I sure won't just breeze past them.

Some of the kindest, best people I know are gay.  I would be happy to hear that they were parents.

Taylor Petty also states that "We must avoid, at all costs, letting children grow up in a home where horrible sins are modeled as acceptable."  By horrible sins Petty strictly means breaking the law of chastity.  If Petty is going to make that argument, Petty might as well start calling to take more than half the children of the world away from their parents.  Most people in the world today can say they've had sex out of wedlock, which is considered breaking the law of chastity.  

What Taylor petty has written is deplorable, but it is even more deplorable that a newspaper would choose to print this hate, especially my campus newspaper.  I am calling for a formal apology from the newspaper for this terrible choice that they've made.  I can accept that the Daily Universe is a very right wing, conservative newspaper, and chooses to print very conservative content.  However, there's a a large difference between conservatism and hate.  

The above letter is hate, and should not have been printed.  

Sure, there's some LGBT hate everywhere, but that doesn't mean newspapers should print it.  Printing such hate only encourages people to revile and bash people in the LGBT community.

If you're against what the Daily Universe did, as I am, then take a stand and let them know exactly what you think of their reprehensible choice to print this hate letter.

Monday, October 17, 2011

This Guy

So, to understand the significance of this post, you have to know a bit about last week.  My birthday was last week.  On Sunday.  That was a good day.  The next day wasn't.  I went to get my driver's license in the morning, because you can't renew your driver's license early when you turn 21, for obvious reasons.  It was Columbus Day.  Can't get a new license.  So I drive back to school on an expired license.  And then I met with my group for my group midterm in my Honors class, and I was broody because I was the only one that could answer every question, and that I missed FHE (some of my friends in my group I only see at FHE, so yeah, broodiness).

Tuesday.  I find out that I lost my student ID card.  I think I will be able to find it somewhere, so I don't get a new one.  I skip my last class because I'm feeling particularly broody, and then think, well, I might as well go get my license.  I get to the place they tell you to go on the website.  That isn't the place to get your license.  I finally get to the little community bank thing that has the drivers license renewal place on the second floor.  I get in there, start filling out the forms, and they say, "We're not serving anyone else.  We usually stop serving people at 4:30."  Well then, why don't you lock your doors at 4:30 so no one else comes in????

I was upset, not just because of that, but because occasionally I have really bad memory days.  So, I cried, and then went and got myself calmed down by driving around and buying something.  Hell if I remember what it was.

Wednesday was meh.  I did poorly on a plurals test in my Arabic class and wanted to cry.  I had a speaking appointment afterwards, and wanted to run and hide, not because I didn't do well in the appointment (my partner and I always do well) but because when I was leaving, I went to slide my chair in, and the top of my chair pulled off.  I fixed it, but that didn't stop me from being uber embarrassed by the look my teacher gave me as he said, "Chelsea!"

Thursday, and I still can't find my ID card.  I feel a little stupid about being broody over it because my friend Courtney lost her laptop (she still hasn't found it, poor girl).  I have a midterm, so by the time I get done with my midterm I just wanted to go to bed.  I didn't get homework done for the rest of the week for my Arabic class.  Sad day.

Friday was okay, but that's probably because I don't really remember what happened.  Oh yeah.  I got a new ID card because I couldn't find it, and I played DDR with my roommate Kelsey.  That was good, because I feel like I'm better friends with her now.  Roommate bonding time.

Now for what you've all been waiting for.  This Monday wasn't looking so hot.  I woke up and seriously debated if I wanted to get out of bed.  I STILL hadn't done my Arabic homework.  I decided I had to get up and go to school.  Good call.

My teacher in my Arabic class asked us what we did on the weekend, and the answers that came from the guys about girls made me laugh so hard I almost cried.  And my teacher just kept feeding off of their funny comments (made funny because they didn't know what they were saying in Arabic).  I laughed so hard I forgot why I was sad.  So here's to a great teacher, who makes me laugh at least once almost every day in class.

Ustaaz Yusuf Nielsen (Professor Joseph Nielsen. . . picture commandeered from facebook)

Bam.  I got you all on here, reading this, thinking that I've found someone special (and a couple of you are still thinking, 'Well, maybe you have") and it's all about a teacher.  The power of advertising, people.  The power of advertising.

Monday, May 16, 2011

On Campus

Some animals I've seen while on BYU campus:

I saw two quail on the way home from campus.  I haven't seen quail in years, so I thought it was cool.

Stray cats


This was chosen because I can't name all the types of birds I've seen. 

Guide dogs
And I never have my camera on me when I want it.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

When I Get Really Bored

English 295 note paper (on which is written notes for a creative writing story).  Yes, this is a cat on the sidewalk in front of a house.

My teacher probably gets mad, because he can see what I'm doing.

Here We Go

Ugh.  Today hasn't been so great.  Not that it has been bad in the sense that my life is going to fall apart, but it is one of those days when you realize that some work you thought was decent is completely inadequate, and it is too late to change it, so you're just going to have to suffer through it.  My teacher for my Advanced Writing class completely rips apart our papers, which is good, because then I can try to fix my writing, but it is also bad because I am going to get a grade in that class which will lower my GPA.  I can feel it in my bones.  You know that feeling?  Where you know nothing you will ever do will be good enough to receive even a B+?  

My teacher for the class that I'm talking about told the class that he knew a guy that was a terrible writer, but could teach everyone else to write well.  I feel like that is me.  I know what makes up good writing.  I just can't do it.  My writing is a mess, and I know it.  And I know it is a mess because I really don't care enough to spend double digit hour time on each draft, especially when the paper isn't a final paper.

For the past few weeks, I've seriously thought about switching majors.  I'm good at linguistics, at least so far.  I've only ever been mediocre at English, especially because it requires a lot of writing.  Maybe I could do a linguistics major with an editing minor?  Or should I switch my major to a foreign language?  I also like science, but not enough to retake my calculus class or risk not understanding the mathematical part of the science.  There's definitely benefits to having an English major if I want to be an editor.  If I switch majors, that means more time in college.  More time that BYU doesn't allow.  There's a year limit for BYU students to graduate.  Another ugh.  

There's a guy in my 295 class, Dillon, that is also in my linguistics class, and he's also having a hard time with this 295 English teacher (Dillon's a senior, and so I don't feel like I'm unjustified in feeling this way about my teacher, if a guy that's never had a problem with his English teachers on this level, I can feel that way).  We both think our english teacher is good guy, but that he's a little too set in his ways.  I mean, come on, when a guy comes out and says he's never given an A to a student in 16 years, he's got to be a little too set in his ways.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that instead of going on to do homework this afternoon, I think I'm going to go mail my letter to Savannah Combe, go for a walk, and lay out in the sun (or on my bed, whichever sounds nicer when I get back) and spend the day reading a book I checked out from the library.  Oh, and I'll probably grab something yummy to eat as well.

The end.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Me and Finals

Finals are over, and that's a really good feeling.  Even though I don't know what my grades are for sure, I can guess.  I've got a B+ in humanities, a B+/A- in mythology, an A- in american literary history, a B+/A- in creative writing, and an A in my intro to the english language class.  I am really hoping for those two B+/A- classes to be A- because that would make my gpa a 3.35.  Then, with any luck, by the end of my Spring Term I could have a 3.4, and then I'd be on my way to writing an honors thesis.  And, that also means I will have met one of my goals for the year.

I really fret over that honors thing.  When I start something, I finish it 99.9% of the time.  That .1% of the time I don't finish something I start, I get really annoyed/upset/disappointed/angry.  So with honors, I really feel that I need to finish it, not just as a testament that I am in the top 1% (it's less than 1% that actually graduate with honors, which is weird, because it isn't THAT much extra work to do it) of my graduating class, not necessarily GPA wise, but by having original work published by the time I get my undergrad.  To me, that's huge.  And graduating with honors looks great on a resume.  In a competitive world, it's always good to have something that fantastic on a resume.

So, on that note, I'm spending the rest of the week relaxing before Spring Term starts.  I plan on crocheting, getting a much needed haircut, going to the play my brother's in at the UofU, and hanging out with Megan Moulding.  Unfortunately, I had to go to the doctor today.  Swollen lymph nodes are never fun, especially when they make it hard to breathe.  Still, now that I know what's wrong, I fully plan on taking meds and making sure I enjoy the weekend.  I have to get better anyways, since I refuse to miss class unless I'm too sick to leave the house, which I currently am not.  Speaking of which, that's another high note of this last semester.  I only missed one day of class in two of my classes.  I never missed a day in my other three classes.  I'm usually sick three or four times during a semester, and I only got sick once this semester, so I thought that was awesome.  Overall, semester success.

I got a letter from Savannah Combe, too.  She's awesome, and enjoying her mission.  I knew she would. A girl as exuberant as her will enjoy all that a mission has to offer.  Been gettin' letters from Andrew Schull as well, which is cool.  He's comin' home sometime mid-June.

And to celebrate the end of the semester, I bought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, and have already watched all the additional scenes.  I also bought the soundtrack to The Princess and the Frog.  I've been wanting it for awhile now, but never got it.  Worth every penny of the $16 I paid for it.


This is the catchiest tune.  I walk around singing it all the time.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Girls' Night

I didn't sleep over, but I did go for a yummy dinner, and inspirational/spiritual talk, and nail painting.  I just put a clear coat of nail polish over my nails.  I couldn't bring myself to put a color on them.  Typical me, right?








Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Thing About BYU...

I really like going to school at BYU, but the thing about it is, relationships!  All of a sudden a bunch of people in my ward are dating, in a relationship, or getting engaged.  It is really, really awkward for me.  Why?  Well, there's a number of reasons, including me not being asked out.

Not getting asked out on dates really doesn't bother me, but it is awkward when I'm talking to a roommate or friend and I ask them what they're doing that evening, and they tell me, "Oh, I'm going on a date!"  Usually whoever I'm talking to is excited to go, and in the course of their answer I get asked, "So what are you doing tonight?"  And of course, I get to answer, "Well, I'm going to do homework and probably go to bed after."  And inevitably, my friend gets a look on his/her face that says Oh, I feel like a jerk now because I was so excited about getting asked out and she never gets a date.  I've been on two dates this semester where I actually went out with people.  One was a blind date, and the guy never called me again.  The other was a "tie date" which was also sort of a blind date, and I now have a friend dating that guy.  If you count making dinner with my friend Anthony as a date, then that makes three.

Really, that's not too bad considering my recent annulment.

Another reason is the awkwardness of walking down my stairs.  My roommates really never tell me when people/boyfriends are coming over, and so, since I usually shower and get into pajamas early in the evening, I'll walk down the stairs in my pjs and no makeup on with my hair a mess to find a guy on the couch waiting for one of my roommates to come downstairs.  AWKWARD.

And then, I am always the one to walk in at the wrong moments.  My roommate Shayla had a boyfriend a couple months ago, and I walked down the stairs to see them kissing.  And that wasn't as awkward for me as it was for her, because they broke up a few weeks later.  And then, last night I walked down the stairs to get a drink, and her and her new boyfriend were kissing on the couch.  Once again, terrible timing on my part.

Oh, and then I'm miss "stick my foot in it" when it comes to keeping up with what's going on.  My roommate Victoria was dating this guy Jeff, one of my friend Anthony's roommates, and so I thought I'd invite his apartment over and Danielle (Steve, that guy that I went on the tie date with is also one of Anthony's roommates, and now my friend, Danielle, is dating him, so it's only right to ask his girlfriend to come) so we could have pizza and play games.  And when I said, Torie, then you and Jeff could make a date of it, she said, "Oh, um, we're not dating anymore.  I broke up with him.  I thought I'd told you that."  Nope, she hadn't and of course I'd bring up a painful subject.  I never went about pulling that game night idea together after that.

So, here I am, being okay with being single, because I don't really want to seriously date someone until at least a year after my annulment, but feeling awkward and pressured to find someone because apparently that's important here.  Really, I do enjoy going out, and I wouldn't mind casually dating a couple people, but truly, I don't think I want a serious relationship right now.  In fact, I don't think I want a serious relationship until after I've gone to study abroad in London next summer.  So, BYU, I'm declaring that I don't think that dating and relationships should be as big of a deal as you make it.

There, I dun said it.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Poetry Slam

So, I decided to be social last night.  And, this meant going to the poetry slam at the White Gables house.  I thought it would just be readings from poetry books, but no, it was sort of a competition thing.  So, I ran back to my house to grab the sonnet that I just finished up (I spent two days working on it.  It's for my creative writing class).  Everyone had unique poems.  There were three trophies.  A dead bouquet of flowers for the most depressing/scary/sadistic poem, a glass half full of water (or half empty if you prefer) for the best comedic poem, and the prize for the best poem overall was a fishbowl trophy with a red betta inside.  There were lots of fun poems, so I wasn't expecting to win.  I was pleasantly surprised.

Next came the naming.  The names submitted were Wordsworth, Lister, Cloister, and Santa Cruzer.  I've chosen Santa Cruzer for now, although if anyone has a good name they'd like to argue for I wouldn't be averse to changing the name.  The real problem is that I'm unsure how exactly to go about changing the water and whatnot.  Supposedly you can't use tap water because it has chlorine in it?  And you can't use distilled water because it lacks the necessary minerals.  So, I am going to go to Petco tomorrow to get food and whatnot for it.  I also feel bad that it is in such a small space, but I don't really have space in my room for a bigger tank for it.  Maybe if I were to buy a desk and a chair for my room (more homework might get done if I did that) then I could buy a small tank for him to swim around in.  Then I wouldn't have to clean the tank as often.

So, here's introducing Santa Cruzer!

I couldn't really get a decent close up with my camera, so this is just to show his cool fins, I guess.


The trophy

So, should I get him a bigger home, or is he going to be fine in this one?

Oh, and here's the poem that won me him.

Evening In Monterey

I walk along, feet bare in the soft sand,
And breathe in water droplets from the mist,
As rolling fog slides from water to land.
The peninsula ceases to exist.
I journey down the beach, towards my home,
Send out a prayer to not lose my way
So when, enveloped by the thick white foam,
I won't be lost, but safe in Monterey.
I start to run along the road and vow,
"Never, this late, shall I visit the coast."
Alas!  My prayer will not save me now,
And I wander from lamppost to lamppost.
I breathe in water droplets from the air.
Unhappy and lost, I shiver, and swear.

Each line has ten syllables, but I know it doesn't religiously follow iambic pentameter.  I'm going to workshop it on Tuesday.  I'm expecting it to get torn to shreds, but at least it was good for something!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Feminism

The topic is inevitable in a literary history class.  We read an excerpt from Margaret Fuller's The Great Lawsuit.  I thought that it was an extremely mild form of feminism which conformed to some LDS views, but for the most part was too laid back on important issues.

When I got in class, I wasn't expecting what happened.  My teacher started out saying something close to this.  "A lot of times I have men in my class that, when they've read this, come to class and ask why they had to read it.  Shouldn't we just get rid of it altogether?  The issues that brought forth feminism aren't prominent anymore.  Aren't women equal to men now?  I'm going to say no, women aren't equal to men now, and that I have you read this because the problems brought forth in this work are just as prominent today as they were then."

The room was silent, and I know there was at least one perturbed, uncomfortable man in the room writhing in his chair because our teacher's words pricked him intolerably.  My teacher went on with his (did you think my teacher was a woman up until this point?) speech.  He said, "You may think that this issue ended in the seventies, but it still exists here and now, in the 21st century, especially in, as much as I hate to say it, the Mormon culture.  A few years ago, my younger sister got engaged to a guy she was dating.  They sent out texts to friends and family to share the happy news.  A few days later, my sister was in an english class, and the discussion of feminism came up.  The teacher challenged his students to discuss with their significant other (if they had one) the subject of feminism.  My sister decided to take the challenge.

"She sat down with her fiance and asked him what he thought about women's rights and the feminist movement, particularly the right to vote.  It turned out that his views were extremely conservative on the matter.  He, quite seriously, said that he believed there should only be one vote per household and that it should be the man's.  The woman was subject to the man and his views because that was the only way to have harmony in the household.  The man was superior because he held the priesthood, and that meant he was the most knowledgeable.  The woman's place was in the home, not in politics and the work force.

"Further, he said he held those views because it is what his mother had taught him.  Needless to say my sister did not marry this man.  And this isn't a singular case.  Lots of men, and some women, hold this view.  It all comes down to the question, is a female really less intelligent than her male counterpart, or are those boundaries set on women by the culture in which she lives?"

There was only one man willing to speak up and say that he didn't really care for feminism because of how radical all the works he had read in the past had been.  He did admit, though, that Fuller's work was particularly mild, that he found it refreshing, and agreed with a lot of the points she made.

I really appreciated my teacher's speech, because for a long time I've been trying to get that point across to people I come in contact with.  I've said before, quite under my breath, when people are excited about marriage and want me to join in the revelry, that "I'm not quite ready to be considered a piece of property again yet."

Although I realize that most men don't look at a woman as their property anymore, I do realize that my ex-husband thought of me that way, and that there are other men that think that way, especially in my culture (not the doctrine of the LDS Church, but the culture.  There tends to be large differences in culture vs. doctrine).

My teacher's class discussion on feminism was one of the few that I have participated in that I haven't been infuriated by.  I attribute this to that speech he gave at the beginning of class.  I appreciate his openness and honesty about the subject.  Even when the topic of radical feminism came up, he said, "Yes, some of it is pretty off the wall, but I wonder if there was a point behind their overstatements.  Many of them were serious about what they were saying, but if you look at it as if they were doing it for shock value, didn't what these feminists wrote wake you up?  Didn't you walk away from the work thinking, yeah, there's a problem with the way women are being treated, and we need to do something to change it?  The literary tactic is actually a very effective one."

So here's kudos to a great teacher who chose to view feminism in a positive light, and admit that there are still necessary steps to be taken for true gender equality today.

Margaret Fuller

Sneaky Weeks

Coming back from a long weekend to a ton of homework that you have less than 24 hours to do is always traumatizing.  I don't have a ton of homework because I didn't do homework over the weekend; I have a ton of homework because BYU decided to have a Monday schedule on Tuesday, and then switch back to the regular schedule for the rest of the week.  This means I have two days with four continuous hours of classes.  Regularly, this wouldn't be a problem.  However, my classes require an uncommonly large amount of reading.

Usually I have Tuesday to do most of my reading.  I'll do part of my reading after school on Monday, and finish it up on Tuesday.  Then I'll do part of my homework on Wednesday, and finish it up on Thursday, etc.  This work load coming back from the holiday is particularly daunting, because my brain doesn't handle stress very well after coming back from a stress free weekend.

I am no good at drawing pictures, so this is what my brain goes through in words:

Yaay, school!  It's nice to be back and learning.

(Two hours into classes) I'm hungry.  Lets munch on wheat thins!

(Wheat thins being eaten)  Wheat thins are loud, and I can't pay attention and eat at the same time.

(I stop eating)

Can't... pay... attention......... too hungry....

Ooh, mythology!

hungry.....

ugh... six more books of the Odyssey to read?  Why did I decide to read it for fun this summer?

Classical Humanities.... soooo bored. 

(Eat apple before class begins)

Maybe I can make it through class.  It's only fifty more minutes.  

Have to take notes... (brain death nearing).... have to get a good grade.... have to stay awake and pay attention....

(ambling down the hill) Fresh air and freedom!  Now to go get a decent meal.

(eating and watching tv) Oh... I have homework.  But, I've eaten, so I can do this!

Ooh, I've never read this before!

I see why I never read it.

How many more pages?

Fifty down.... a hundred more to go....

And I have three papers to work on after this?

Stop working.  Watch House.

Read five more pages.

Stop.  Read blogs.

Must finish homework.

No, must write on blog.

Working on your homework is the right honorable thing to do.

Shut up conscience.

And this is usually a daily thing, unless the reading is particularly interesting or if I am in the mood to be productive and write.  Today, this is a very troublesome thought process, because my lazy side is winning out.  We'll see if I survive the evening.  And, maybe someday I'll get some white paper and draw out a stick figure cartoon of it all and scan it in for my blog.  Maybe.  Like I said, no artistic talent.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Court Intruder



This is how obsessed people are with Jimmer.  I don't know how the guy walks across campus without being mobbed.

Jimmer's name has become a verb.  "You just got jimmered!"  Being the key usage.

Even when other team members are being highlighted in the newspaper, Jimmer's picture is on the front page.

Jimmer Fredette is probably the NCAA player of the year.

And yes, that's just how good BYU is.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy Valentine's

For all of us single folks, there was a family home evening at the Burr's house in Alpine.  We decorated and ate sugar cookies, had a pickup line contest, and gave out valentines to people.  It was fun.

The last person to press the button after the music stops gets shocked game.

Jeff (the guy with his back turned) got shocked.

Lots of people gathering round the cookies.

Danielle (left) and her friend getting cookies.

The only two I know in this picture are Andy (center) and Becca (right)

A group of people.  I was just randomly snapping photos.  I have seen all of these people around before, but I just don't know names.  Never made a point to ask or remember, I guess.

Steve's holding the posters reading pickup lines for the contest.  The winner was, "We should open a Little Caesars because you're hot and I'm ready."

Everyone listening to the contest.


Saying goodbyes!

People I know from left to right: Nathaniel, Aubri, Amber. 

Aubri and Amber

I didn't want to have my picture taken alone, but they wanted me to have a picture taken, so they joined in.

Anthony and me.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Valentines Musings

Do you remember what someone says in response to something you've said?  Do they remember what you said to elicit that response?  Sometimes I feel like I should go hide in a cave for a couple decades when I think about that.  What you say and do defines you, and often what you say betrays what you really think or are going to do.  Occasionally I reflect upon this, and think it a miracle that anyone at all likes me.  I think that the only reason I have most of my friends is because I don't say what I think.  However, I still get to hear what I think, and I believe that is what always makes me surprised that people like me.

I let one of those secret thoughts out today on my way home from church with my roommate Ashley, a girl (no clue who she was) that just got engaged, and Annalee, a girl who is on the music council with Ashley and me and is going on a mission soon.  We were all talking about guys and marriage and whatnot (unsurprisingly, that is a large topic around here).  Ashley and Annalee were saying that they feared they would never get married; that marriage was a faint star in the distance that they felt they would never reach, or if they did, it would be late in life.  In a moment of cynicism, and forgetting that I wasn't alone, I said, "I've been to that star, passed it, and am through with it.  I don't know that I ever want to get married again.  Marriage didn't treat me well the first time I entered into it.  Why would I go in a second time?"

Ashley looked at me, skepticism and slight horror in her eyes, and said, "Chelsea, you can't let that experience be your judge for every guy you date.  You can't assume that all guys are the same."

At that point, I realized that I shouldn't have said anything, because I hadn't set up my huge basis for my belief system.  I tried to recover, saying, "Yeah, I know that's true, but I'm at that stage of moving on with life where I'm just not sure of what I want.  I like going out on a date occasionally.  It's fun, but I don't want to consider marriage again for awhile."  The statement pretty much ended the subject.

Of course, I have been wondering for the past several hours what all those girls think of me, but especially my roommate, since she's the one that rebutted my statement.  And then I think, I just revealed a large part of my character in a thoughtless speech.  ANYONE could tell that my response to Ashley's rebuttal was just a quick way out of an awkward situation.  And, I have to live with the person that looked at me like I was possessed by a devil.  Now I remember why I never say what I think.  Memo to me, never do it again.


I am cynical.  I remember what people say, and I watch them.  From my observations, I've concluded that people are shallow and selfish.  There's always an ulterior motive for someone doing something nice for another person.  Don't ever let someone tell you differently.  My thoughts of people have been based on this for a long time.  I was meanly fooled into believing differently by my now ex-husband, who also had his own set of ulterior motives for marrying me (obviously, I believe this based on my prior belief and because of the way the string of lies that was my marriage fell apart).  I am not going to let myself be fooled again.

Upon this base, my judgement of other people tends to be harsh, as is my judgement of myself.  Therefore, I do remember what people say, and listen to them contradict themselves over and over again as they flip flop from what they say to what they do.  Everyone does it.  I do it.  The difference is that I hate myself when I catch myself flip flopping.  And this is the type of musing I do when this time of year comes around.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Whole Fam Damily

So, I am usually not one for socializing, and we all know that.  But, since I go to a university where the population is almost 100 percent LDS, the student body is required to be actively participating in things the church endorses.  One of these things is "family home evening."  The ward is split into small groups of "families" and two people in that group, a guy and a girl, are appointed "mom and dad" for the group.  Every Monday we meet at 7 PM to do something fun and have a spiritual thought.  The first time I was at BYU I never really went to these things, because I could get away with only showing up once in awhile.  This time, however, the family home evening "mom" is my roommate.  Busted.  I always have to go.

I have no clue what the spiritual thought for January 18th was.  I just remember going to Cabelas.  Our family split into groups and were given pieces of paper.  On my group's paper, we were told we were going bear hunting, and needed to go on a scavenger hunt to find the proper clothing, shelter, weapon, item of our choice, a bear, and a couple other things I don't remember.  We were rushed, because when we got to Cabelas it was fifteen minutes before closing time.  The pictures are what we came up with.

Sydney Neibaur and Coulter Neves

Thomas Cook

Camo hat on one side, hunter orange on the other.

Coulter, Thomas, and Sydney have found our bear trap!

And Coulter's got some guns just in case.

We're scouting out bears, supposedly.

And Syd's pretending to be one.

And Coulter's decided the best route to catching a bear is to feed it.

Shelter

The girls'll do some relaxing while the guys do the hunting.

And the guys'll spend some time fishing.

Our mode of transportation.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Update on Resolutions

I intend to keep track of how well I accomplish my goals.  That way I can know how much more I need to work.

1- I'm still working on making a new friend.
4- I've lost two pounds this month, which is amazing since I haven't made a point to go to the gym.
5- No regrets yet.
6- I got one project crocheted.  I made a post about that one.
11- I've eaten two to three meals a day every day for the last month.  Pretty impressive feat.
12- Still working on less cynicism.
16- I'm trying my hardest to relax at least twice a week for how much homework I have.
17- I am still not great at large groups.  Trying to go to more big events, though.
20- I read my two books for the month of January.  Spellbound by Lynn Kurland, and Going Postal by Terry Pratchett.

So, that's my update for January.  There will be goals on my list that I can't accomplish until fall semester here at BYU, such as taking a ballroom dance class, and I won't know how close I am to having a 3.4 GPA until the end of winter semester.  And one thing I know is that I can't wait until summer.  It is way too cold.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

BYU vs. San Diego State

We win!  71-58.  Just handed San Diego their first loss of the season.  Hoo-rah! Admittedly, Jimmer Fredette is BYU, with 43 points on the game.

I watched this game on the top floor of the SWKT.  My friends knew a guy whose brother is a manager of a lab at the top of the SWKT, so we got in.  There were just a few people up there (about 10) and lots of pizza, breadsticks, cookies, and pop.  Oh, and nice swivel chairs.  So, I was able to really enjoy the game.

I met a guy from India named Poro (forgive me if it's spelled wrong.  I just spelled it how it sounds.) while I watched the game.  He's a nice guy--told me I could come up anytime I wanted to study or whatnot if I just let the people at the desk (he mentioned a certain one, but I don't remember what one that was...) on floor 11 know that I was going up to see him.  I'm probably going to take him up on it.  The view is beautiful.

So, even though I'm not a science nerd, it pays to know people who are, or people whose brothers are.