The Thing About BYU...

I really like going to school at BYU, but the thing about it is, relationships!  All of a sudden a bunch of people in my ward are dating, in a relationship, or getting engaged.  It is really, really awkward for me.  Why?  Well, there's a number of reasons, including me not being asked out.

Not getting asked out on dates really doesn't bother me, but it is awkward when I'm talking to a roommate or friend and I ask them what they're doing that evening, and they tell me, "Oh, I'm going on a date!"  Usually whoever I'm talking to is excited to go, and in the course of their answer I get asked, "So what are you doing tonight?"  And of course, I get to answer, "Well, I'm going to do homework and probably go to bed after."  And inevitably, my friend gets a look on his/her face that says Oh, I feel like a jerk now because I was so excited about getting asked out and she never gets a date.  I've been on two dates this semester where I actually went out with people.  One was a blind date, and the guy never called me again.  The other was a "tie date" which was also sort of a blind date, and I now have a friend dating that guy.  If you count making dinner with my friend Anthony as a date, then that makes three.

Really, that's not too bad considering my recent annulment.

Another reason is the awkwardness of walking down my stairs.  My roommates really never tell me when people/boyfriends are coming over, and so, since I usually shower and get into pajamas early in the evening, I'll walk down the stairs in my pjs and no makeup on with my hair a mess to find a guy on the couch waiting for one of my roommates to come downstairs.  AWKWARD.

And then, I am always the one to walk in at the wrong moments.  My roommate Shayla had a boyfriend a couple months ago, and I walked down the stairs to see them kissing.  And that wasn't as awkward for me as it was for her, because they broke up a few weeks later.  And then, last night I walked down the stairs to get a drink, and her and her new boyfriend were kissing on the couch.  Once again, terrible timing on my part.

Oh, and then I'm miss "stick my foot in it" when it comes to keeping up with what's going on.  My roommate Victoria was dating this guy Jeff, one of my friend Anthony's roommates, and so I thought I'd invite his apartment over and Danielle (Steve, that guy that I went on the tie date with is also one of Anthony's roommates, and now my friend, Danielle, is dating him, so it's only right to ask his girlfriend to come) so we could have pizza and play games.  And when I said, Torie, then you and Jeff could make a date of it, she said, "Oh, um, we're not dating anymore.  I broke up with him.  I thought I'd told you that."  Nope, she hadn't and of course I'd bring up a painful subject.  I never went about pulling that game night idea together after that.

So, here I am, being okay with being single, because I don't really want to seriously date someone until at least a year after my annulment, but feeling awkward and pressured to find someone because apparently that's important here.  Really, I do enjoy going out, and I wouldn't mind casually dating a couple people, but truly, I don't think I want a serious relationship right now.  In fact, I don't think I want a serious relationship until after I've gone to study abroad in London next summer.  So, BYU, I'm declaring that I don't think that dating and relationships should be as big of a deal as you make it.

There, I dun said it.