Where the Romantic and Practical Meet

Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing. 
Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch. 
Young Noah: Would you just stay with me? 
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'. 
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. 
Young Allie: So what? 
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out. 
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt. 
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT? 
Young Allie: It's not that simple. 
Young Noah: What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want? 

This is one time the practical part of me appreciates the little bit of romantic in me. All because Noah says, "It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you."

I'm not saying that people in love have to fight all the time, but I'm certain that people in love don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, and that causes a lot of disagreements. I'm saying that love isn't always happiness. There are a lot of rough spots. I told this to my friend Megan: love has to do with mutual respect and helping each other learn about life, about helping each other become better individuals. And that's hard. People in love fight all the time. It's not easy. It's not about money or careers; it's about finding someone whose character you like, and deciding to tough it out through thick and thin with them. It doesn't have to last forever, but we're meant to learn from it.

This isn't my complete idea of love, it's just scratching the surface of my idea. It may not be an elegant, an experienced, or even a right idea of what love is, but it's a start at what my idea of love is. It will change with time, I'm sure, but I will never believe that real love is purely physical, and I will never believe that it's all about beauty.

Skateboard Jousting

This is the type of stuff we get up to in college when we have too much time on our hands. We made this for a big activity/competition thing between the FHE groups.

Twist and Shout

This is for all you people who have been so caught up in finals that you don't think you've seen anything good in the past few days.

Now, you have at least seen something good this week. Don't thank me, thank Ferris.

Yes, Another Avengers Post

Isn't everyone just overly excited? Premiere tickets anyone? And can I just say, I love Tony Stark.

The Avengers

I'm going to see this even if no one wants to go see it with me.  I'm ridiculously excited for this, if you hadn't noticed.  I mean, all those cool people in one movie.  I'm actually particularly excited to see how Thor and Stark get along, because I already know that Captain America and Stark are never going to see eye to eye.

In Time

I am definitely going to see this when it comes out.  And how did I even find out it existed?  A Vevo ad.  Vevo has slightly, only slightly mind you, redeemed itself by introducing me to this show.

The List

I just watched this show called Beauty & The Briefcase.  It was a good show, albeit an ABC Family cheesy show.  I've been into watching Netflix streaming movies.  I've watched a couple ABC Family ones now, including My Future Boyfriend.  I also watched According to Greta.  That was a good one, not ABC Family, but still really good.  Back on point.  I realize that this post hasn't made a move toward a point yet.  It's getting there.

Most people I know--girls and guys--have a list.  I mean, everyone makes lists, but this is The List.  The qualities for a partner list.  I've yet to meet a girl that hasn't had one.  My friend Megan and I used to joke around in junior high with mottos such as "foreign is better," "foreign + guitar = hot," and "nice guys finish last."  I still have a note full of the sayings that she came up with.  I know we worked on some together, but her ability to turn a phrase is amazing.  Always has been, always will be.  Actually, I don't really know that I've ever sat down and asked her what her serious list is.  Before I got married, I was pretty shallow.  The list was one, foreign, two, good looking, three, smart.  I'm sure there were more, but those are the main ones I remember.  Maybe they're the ones I remember because I think that they define how shallow of a person I can be.

And I took a breath, and I got my hot, smart foreign guy--and I ruined my life.

So, how do these last two paragraphs tie in with the first one?  Well, Beauty & The Briefcase had to do with finding the right guy.  Finding the guy that met everything on her list.  And she gets a guy in the end, but he has zero out of ten of the qualities on The List.  The guy that met the qualities on The List, that she falls in love with in the middle of the show, was a complete liar.  He pretended to be what she wanted so he could get in bed with her.

That's how stupid we are.  We all want some dream match; the love of fairy-tales.  It doesn't exist.  Real love is hard, and you have to work at it every day if you want it to last.  You can't lie your way through it, and the qualities that you're looking for are often you lying to yourself about what you want.

If you never tell the truth about yourself when you meet someone you like, you're headed for trouble.  I know everyone always says that.  I don't think everyone who says that has experience like mine to back it up.  If you're honest with the someone you want to date, then if that someone really likes you, he/she will like you for your honesty.

Get rid of The List.  If you must have The List, let only two things be on it.  One, he/she is the same religion as you.  Two, he/she has the same morals as you.  These two things, I believe, could be grouped into one if you want.  However, just because someone shares the same religion as you doesn't mean that they share the same morals.  Example, my aforementioned marriage.

There have been men who have come and gone in my life that weren't foreign or hot, but who shared my values and treated me well.  And I let that slide because I had a list of what I thought was important.  I've missed chances I should have taken.

What now?  There are guys that I want to be friends with.  Just friends.  I am just socially awkward enough that I don't know how to initiate friendship without making men think I'm hitting on them.  Realistically, I realize that I can probably only ever be friends with the guys in my community.  I believe I had my chance, and I botched it.  I'd still like to associate with guys.  I'm fantastic at not doing well at that.

And in my dream world, I'd like to date a certain someone.  I want a guy to come in and sweep me off my feet.  To let me know that it doesn't matter that I've been married before.  That he still thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.  He doesn't have to have any particular qualities.  I believe that what most people would call a spark, is all it'd take.

My dating life is a no-go, though.  If I'm just socially awkward enough to have trouble in the friendship field, I'm running from the cops in the dating field.  I make every mistake possible.  I'm sure I break all the laws of initiating a relationship.  I blush.  I sound like an idiot.  I stare.  I try being a bit forward.  Then I back off.  I stop talking to the guy.  I avoid said guy because he never asks me out, and things are unavoidably awkward because I think he knows I like him and would like to date him.  Obviously he doesn't want to date me.  A bit of despair.

Thank goodness I was able to get away from that last bit by actually running away home for a couple months.  We'll come to the "what happens when you get back to Provo and see him again" bridge when we have to cross it.

Thor

So, Thor was really good.  And that's coming from someone who had a lot of doubts about whether the movie was even going to be mediocre.  I wouldn't have even gone if I hadn't had a free movie pass, and it would have been a shame to miss out on a good movie.  These are the reasons* why I liked it:

• The movie wasn't too long.

• It had a decent plot line.  It respected where it came from.  I think that Kenneth Branagh wouldn't have directed the movie if it hadn't had a decent plot line.

• Thor's home planet felt a little bit like Gallifrey.

• It wasn't your typical superhero movie.  Given, Thor is a God, but most of the time he was on Earth he was mortal, and couldn't lift his hammer, so it felt more like a "coming of age" story than a superhero one.

• Thor isn't all powerful.  He has to sacrifice what he loves to save the world.

• It doesn't have a happy ending, at least not in the sense that the audience expects.

• There was space between action scenes.

• Thor wasn't a stupid brute.  He understands how the space travel system he uses works.  What Jane calls an Einstein-Rosen Bridge.  And he's willing to help out with things, not just the "I kill that person for you" type of thing.

• He doesn't go for the silly, self-obsessed political science major.  He goes for the intelligent scientist one, Jane.  

• Tony Stark is referenced because something that looks like his machinery comes down to earth.  It was funny, and it made me laugh.  Good ol' Tony.

So, I would probably give it 3 1/2 stars, and that, remind you, is coming from a person who wasn't even sure it was worth wasting a free movie pass on.  It was a fun watch, and not what I expected.  

*I'm pretty sure I had more reasons for liking it, but I typed everything up, hit publish, and I got signed out of blogger, and the draft wasn't saved because apparently I hadn't been signed in the whole time, so I lost it all.  Oh well, I think I did a pretty good job remembering my points.  The main ones have to be there.

Summer Movies

I have a sneaking feeling I'm going to end up seeing this.



And this:



They're both coming out in June.  Anyone want to go see them with me?

Only Prettier

Green isn't my best color.  I went with a group to the dollar theater to see Tron last night, and on the way there got to listen to speculation on whether or not a guy I like likes another girl.  Of course, these two girls speculating didn't realize that I liked the guy they were talking about, but I sat and brooded, even though I told myself I didn't care.  I hate to say it, but sometimes I get jealous.  Maybe that's a good thing.  It means I'm becoming human again.

Of course, at the movie I tried to stay out of the way and let him be with her.  And after a night of observing, I'm just not sure what to think.   I guess the funny thing about it all is that I didn't really think I liked this guy as more than a friend until this moment.  Maybe that's a lie.  Maybe that's what I've been trying to convince myself for the past month.  However, it just hit me that I really do care last night.  So, this song pretty much sums up how I feel about the situation last night.  I'll pretend to be nice, but really, everything I'm saying to you is an insult.

Pirates

I want to see this film when it comes out.  Mimi, you up for seeing it with me?

Sophie Scholl

I stayed on campus late today to watch this show in the International Cinema.  It was definitely worth it.  I found myself crying in several parts of this show.  As I watched, I hoped that I would be as strong as Sophie, that if I were put in a place that was the same as Nazi Germany, that I would do the same thing.  She was me, her brother was Kestin, together they were all of us, the future generation that must stand up for what's right, because conscience demands it--freedom and justice demand it.

You can watch the whole thing on youtube.  Type in Sophie Scholl: the Final Days in the search box, and it will come up.  There's quite a few parts, but it would be worth the watch.  If you have Netflix, you can watch it streaming online there, or you can rent the dvd.  Really, everyone ought to watch this show.  I walked out of the cinema in tears, having gained a new appreciation for the freedom I enjoy; my ability to write what I think and to be protected by the first amendment; to live under a democratic government where my voice matters.

Burlesque

Shyanne and I went to this show on Saturday night.  I was really glad she wanted to go, because I didn't really know anyone that would want to go.  When the show was over, Shy and I turned to each other and said, "That was awesome!"  I'm definitely getting this show when it comes out, and I'm probably going to go and buy the cd this week.  The music gave me the chills, and I found myself wanting to clap after numbers got finished, because I felt like I was watching a live show.











I realize I posted a lot of videos, but she has an amazing voice.

Yes, I Did Like Harry Potter, But...

I loved Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One.  I liked it a lot more because I didn't have to stay up until midnight just to see it first.  I wasn't upset with the way it ended, because I thought that it was a really good spot to end at, and since I've already read the book I don't have to wonder what's going to happen.  Obviously, I've never been a real Harry Potter fanatic.  However, there are plenty of reasons that I hate going to movies.

I hate all the couples that go to the movies.  They make me feel all sad and alone, which when thought about deeply, I really am alone and that does make me sad.

Once we've established that there's lots of couples in the room, and that I'm oh so alone, then the movie starts.  People clap at the beginning and end of the movie, which I've never really understood.  During the whole movie there's those people who talk (my brother is one of them) and some of the screaming and laughing that goes on is ridiculously loud.  I may be permanently deaf in my left ear.  There's always one person in the theater that is like that.

If there's any romance in the movie, it generally peeves me, mostly because of the reasons explained above, but there's also this inexplicable feeling deep down inside.

The people that sit and complain about how the movies aren't correct according to the book bother me, particularly at Harry Potter showings.  If you can't disassociate the book from the movie, then don't go see the movie, people!  It's a simple enough concept.

Always, always, there's the connections that I make with each movie I watch that bother me.  I never used to be bothered about those connections, but now, after being divorced, everything about me has slightly changed, and that's one of those things.  I watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix earlier today, and the part that bothered me was when Harry screams, "LOOK AT ME!"  Why?  Because I feel like that a lot anymore.  Like everyone around you is completely oblivious that you aren't able to function in certain situations because of what you've gone through.  In the new movie it was that Harry didn't have any family, and the whole time I thought, I wish that I didn't have any family either, because it would remove inhibitions that I have to act on impulses that I get.  I don't want my family to die; it's more like I want to be able to do what Hermione did to her family.  If people just forgot me, then they wouldn't have to worry about me and I wouldn't feel like I had to fake things just to comfort them.  I really, truly, often think that being alone with my thoughts is the best thing.  And finally, creepy love triangles, perceived or otherwise.  I now have come to completely loathe them.

So, despite really liking the movie, it is hard to say that I really enjoyed myself.  And yes, I'm like that quite a lot when I watch movies.  I don't do a lot of talking afterwards.  Instead, I like to hop in my car, turn on the music, and drive.  If the drive home isn't long enough, I like to grab my ipod and walk, or work out, or anything to get that pent up energy and sick feeling out of my heart and stomach.  If all else fails, I usually can fall asleep and feel better in the morning.

Play One Day, Sick The Next

I woke up this morning with the flu.  I've never experienced pain quite like it.  It felt like every rib in my chest had been broken, and I wished that I didn't have to breathe.    I'm glad it's over now.  Hopefully that's the worst case of the flu I'll get this year. 

However, yesterday was great.  It all started with the movie Lagaan at that ended at three in the morning.  Carianne Hirano brought it up to show us.  We had to watch it with subtitles, because it was a Bollywood movie, all in Hindi.  The movie was over three hours long, but it was fun to watch.  I tell you, trying to understand a game of Cricket that early in the morning wears your brain out when it is the first game of Cricket you've ever watched.

After a few hours of sleep, everyone got up for breakfast and then got ready and went out on the boat.  Savannah Combe wakeboarded first, and then Ryan Taylor went out and learned to kneeboard.  Then Carianne learned to kneeboard and then tried to learn to wakeboard.  Finally, I decided to get into the water to wakeboard.  The water was really rather cold for this time of year, but I acclimated to it after awhile.  I only wakeboarded a couple of times.  Ryan got seasick, because the boat had been stopped for so long and the waves were rocking the boat.  Carianne and I went tubing, and then Ryan and Savannah went.  Ryan felt much better once he got into the water. 

When we got off the boat and went up to the cabin, my mom's coworker Erin was there with her kids.  We got a veggie tray ready and some chips and salsa to eat before we went out on the waverunners and boat.  The water was rough when we got the waverunners into the water, and since one of our waverunners was not functioning correctly, Ryan and I ended up on the yellow two person boat in the choppy water.  This would have been fine, but it tips over really easy in the rough water with one person, let alone two, and it is hard to get back on when you are in the deep water.  Carianne and Savannah were on the four person "tuna boat" and so the ride was a lot smoother for them.  I guess I didn't tell them that they should stay close, and they went all the way to Cisco beach in the chop, and we followed them to flag them down.  It took that long to do so.  That's several miles in the choppy water on a machine that flies out of the water when it hits a wave of a large size. 

Ryan drove the waverunner on the way there and part way back.  When he stopped a wave caught the boat in the wrong way and we fell off.  It was a good thing that Savannah and Carianne were behind us at that point, because Ryan couldn't get back on our boat.  He kept falling off.  I jumped off and swam to him to get the lanyard to hook on the boat so I could drive by Carianne and Savannah's waverunner and let Ryan jump on the back of mine.  By this point the ride wasn't as fun as it was on the way out, because the wind was picking up and it took a lot of strength to stay on the boat.  This could also have something to do with the fact that I was driving and it took a lot more effort to stay on the boat.  Needless to say, we're both sore today.

We came in and switched waverunners, which was nice for Ryan and I, because then we were able to enjoy ourselves in the chop without exerting the last of our energy.  Then we came in and helped finish getting dinner ready.  We ate pork loin, corn, and dutch oven potatoes.  Awhile later we went on a bike ride.  My family has two beach cruisers and a tandum bike.  Savannah has a bucket list, and on that list was to ride a tandum bike.  She was able to cross that off her list.  Ryan and I rode it back to find out that the tires were running low. 

When Savannah and Carianne left, Ryan and I went back out for a last run on the waverunners.  The water had calmed down, and we had some fun before the sun went down.  Then we cleaned up and got raspberry shakes at Hometown Drive In.  It was nice to talk to Ryan, although I often feel that I do all the talking.  I feel like I pry when I ask questions, so I rarely ask them.  So, after we got back we got ready for bed and watched Merlin (well, in between sleeping) and then I let Dylan switch me spots and sleep on the airbed and went into a room to sleep. 

Then this morning the first paragraph of this post happened.  Ryan and my dad went home to go to church; they're coming back this evening.  Tomorrow, if my luck keeps turning for the better, I'll be able to go four wheeling with everyone.

The Adventures of Megan, Becky, and Chelsea

When I was in high school I never really went on a bunch of group outings, but there's one that I still laugh at today that I thought I would share.  Across the Universe had been out in theaters for a few weeks, and so Becky Maw, Megan Moulding, and I decided we would go see it together.  We stopped at the bank for Becky to get some cash out, and I remembered that I had forgotten mine!  Since I was driving, they said that they would pay for me and it would go towards what they would have given me for gas money.  We never got to the movie theater, though.

We were going to the Megaplex 13 at the Junction, and Becky and I insisted that you had to drive down Harrison to get there, not Washington.  Megan kept telling us it was down Washington, but we didn't listen.  The two against one came into play.  By the time we realized that Megan was right, the movie had already been playing for twenty minutes.  So, for an alternative activity we went to Cafe Villa Bella across from Weber State University.  It was around 4:30 PM, and yet Becky and Megan both had frappuccinos (I have no idea if I spelled that correctly).  I had a caesar salad.

The caffeine made those two really hyper, so when we stopped at Rita's bakery and got some yummy mexican pastries for dessert, they went to those little quarter machines and got some mini figurine catholic saints.  I don't even remember how many they bought, but I do remember that one of them got Jesus, and when I was driving they fought over who got the Jesus figurine in the back of my car.  Well, Becky was in the back and Megan was in the front, so they fought each other for it sort of in the middle of the car.  I laughed the whole way home, and I remember all the laughter and hullaballoo that went on while they were on that caffeine high in my car.  It was a good thing that I hadn't had any caffeine, or I don't know that we would have made it home alive.

It seems that every outing I had through high school had this similar pattern: someone was high on something, whether caffeine, sugar, or dry erase markers.  Good times, I tell you, good times.  Oh, and I do believe that Megan ended up with the figurine Jesus, and that it sits next to Buddha in her car.  I think she has a picture of them together on facebook.