Weekend Lesson

My cat had me up at 3 AM yesterday.  I'm pretty sure that while I was outside on the beach with him, in the dark, I was falling asleep standing up.  If my cat does that to me, and I don't really like to handle it, then I'm almost 100 percent sure that babies are a no go for me.  I don't do the "get up at the crack of dawn" routine every day.  I tell you, I get the least amount of sleep at Bear Lake because my cat bites my legs to let me know when he thinks it is time for me to get up.

For the most part, I enjoy being up at Bear Lake.  I'm not really a people person, so I don't like large groups up there, but I am okay with some family.  My cousin J.J. came up for the first time in a couple of years.  It was fun to have him up again.  What isn't fun is fighting with my mom.  Maybe it was because we had so many people up there--people make me cranky--when I wanted a relaxing weekend pretty much free of hosting.  I don't know.  Still, I fought with her more this weekend than I have in a few months.  I'm used to this kind of interaction with my mom; for a long time it was the only way we could communicate anything at all.  But I don't like it.  When we fight like we did on the way home from Bear Lake, I seriously consider moving back to Provo early just so I can get out of her hair.  Then I get some sense knocked into me and decide that I need to stay, because I'm going to fight with whomever I live with, and I can't always just up and leave, so I need to learn to live with the people I'm going to fight with.

So why don't I just try and be nice and ease the situation?  Half the time I don't even expect my mom to get angry over what I'm doing, saying, or both.  And usually I don't feel like I'm out of line, so I'll yell right back at her.  When I do realize that I'm out of line, I've tried the apologizing route.  That works less than half the time to get rid of the coming argument.  So, I just decide to nearly always stick to my guns, even if I'm in the wrong, until after she's cooled her jets.  And this is probably really bad, but many times I'm too prideful to apologize.  I probably should apologize, even if I'm in the right.  Agree to disagree, you know?

I grew up learning to watch what I said.  Keep my opinions to myself, you know?  As I get older I'm finding this thing is harder to do.  With family, friends, and people that annoy me.  This is a problem, because it puts me well on my way to ostracizing my family and friends.  I mean, I really don't have THAT many people that I really call friends--more just acquaintances--and the couple that have stayed with me probably will keep on staying, because I've already been mean and they've stayed.  I've never been a people person, ever.  I don't have to change that, but I do need to start keeping my opinions to myself again, because in order to function in society, I have to keep my mouth shut.

And that's what I've learned from this weekend at Bear Lake.

The Fun and the Ugly

As I said in my last post, I've been gone to Bear Lake for the past two weeks.  A lot has happened in those last two weeks.  I think I'll start with June 30th, the day before we left, and move on from there.  

My Dad was released as Bishop of the YSA 7th Ward about a month ago.  He was called to the high council in the Ogden YSA 2nd Stake.  My Mom was called to the same stake as a relief society adviser.  I figured I would just go to the ward they went to so I could go to church with family.  So, on Thursday the 30th, I decided to go to the ward BBQ with my parents.  The food was good, the company wasn't.  About five minutes there, and in walks my ex-husband.  I managed to stay for most of the time so my parents could get to know kids (although when my Dad saw my ex, he asked me if we needed to leave).  Nik never spoke to me, but he knew I was there.

I was pretty upset when we got home, and it showed when I was helping my Dad hook the flatbed trailer to his truck.  My parents told me I could just go in and relax, that they could handle the rest (my cousin Bailey was there to help them, too).  I went in and worked on the 1500 piece puzzle that has been up for months.  My cousin walks in not five minutes later and says, "You have a visitor."

I was surprised, looked up, and asked, "Who?"

Nik walked in the room.  "Me!"

I looked back down at my puzzle.  I was so angry that I was sick to my stomach.  When I get emotionally stressed, I usually don't cry or freak out.  That stress exhibits itself through physical pain.  My family, either my Mom, my Dad, or Bailey, was there with me the whole time he was.  Still, he wouldn't leave!  Two hours later, I'm still standing over my puzzle, not speaking to him, hoping he'll leave.  What makes him think he has the right to come see me anyway?  He asked if I'd be around.  I told him I'd be at Bear Lake for most of the summer, and then in New York.

At about 11:30 PM, my ex-husband says, "Oh, well, I guess I'll go now.  But Chelsea, I want to talk to you, so will you walk out with me?"

Absolutely NOT! is what I was thinking, but I walked out with him.  He told me he missed hanging out with me.  I don't miss hanging with you.  He said he didn't want me as his wife anymore, but he wanted me as a friend. I don't want you for a friend.  GET OUT OF MY LIFE!


"And um, I never said sorry to you.  I was a real jerk."

"I know."

"You agree with me?"

"Well, I wasn't going to offer it, but if you're going to say it, I'm not going to disagree with you."

My Mom yelled out the front door that someone was on the phone for me.  I thought, Who's calling me at 11:30?  She must be just trying to get me away from Nik.


I said bye to Nik, and he said, "See you around!"

I turned around, and at this point so much profanity has run through my brain that if I look back I'm afraid it will all come out.  I pride myself on being able to keep my temper.  There's few people that ever bring the worst out in me.  Up until Nik, I didn't know that kind of fury existed.  I walked in the house.   I was sick for the next two days.

We went up to Bear Lake the next day.  I calmed down from the previous night's incident.  Nik wouldn't follow me up here.  I'm safe from him.  So, the weekend went well, as did the week after it.  I've got some fun pictures of people from up there.  My Dad has this really nice Nikon camera, and I used it a lot, but then the SD card got corrupted somehow, so we've got to send it in so I can get all my pictures back.  When that happens, I'll post those pictures.  I have some pictures on my little digital camera, though, that are pretty fun, and I'll post as the highlight of this post, because there's another downer part coming.

Jason Jr., my cousin Page's kid.  He's only one, but look how big he is!

Tajsha, my cousin's other kid.  Tajsha will be three in September.

Junior on the boat for the first time.

When we went four wheeling, we encountered a wall of snow that we couldn't get around. 

So much for going to Gators in Randolph for lunch!

Snow is all over on the mountaintops.

Flowers on the road.

Mom and Bailey

The mountainside.

Bailey after the ride.

Bailey and Mom after the ride, all dirty.

Me after the ride.  You can barely tell I went, I didn't really get dusty leading the pack.

The view from our house.

A chipmunk at Minnetonka Cave.

In Minnetonka Cave.

Me and Bailey after the tour.  She'd never been in a cave before.

And guys, she's fourteen, so back off...

Then Friday came, and Bailey and I decided to make jewelry.  She was beading, and I was working on a chain mail bracelet, when I heard, "Hey guys, what's up?"  I knew the voice, but I hoped I was just dreaming.  Nope, it was Nik.  He decided to drive up to Bear Lake so he could "take me to lunch."  See, the thing about that is, I'd already told him over both email and the phone that it would never be okay for him to take me to lunch, ever.  I thought I'd sent that message very clearly.  Apparently, not.

I nearly finished my bracelet, and then changed into decent clothing (at this point I was still in pajamas).  My Mom said, "Why don't you take Witter (my cat, Lex) on a walk down the beach?  He's been wanting to go all  morning."  Side note, yes, I do take my cat up to Bear Lake with me.  He doesn't really care for the car ride (what cat does?) but he loves it once he gets to our cabin.

Well, my Mom told Nik he should go walk with me.  We went for an hour, and no more than twenty sentences were spoken, and most of them were voiced by him.  He told me he missed Bear Lake.  I told him I knew he missed the lifestyle my family afforded him.  That shut him up for awhile.  I called the kettle black.  On our walk, he picked up a stick, and then broke it up into small pieces and started throwing them at my cat!  I was really angry, and I'm pretty sure it showed, because when he saw my face he stopped throwing them until later.  The fact that he even threw another stick at Lex again after a few minutes should be a testament to how thick my ex-husband can be.

We got back to the cabin, and I tethered Lex and sat outside on a picnic table.  He finally asked, "You really think that I miss the lifestyle your family afforded me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I don't miss it.  I'm happy with my life."

"I hope you are.  I hope you get your life put back together."

"It is put back together."

"Okay."

"So, do you want to go to lunch?"

"No."

"Oh, okay."

"You realize that the first time I told you no--over the phone--that meant no, never?"

"Well, yeah."

"Then what's all this?  You know you're never going to win me back."

At this point he got a little upset, and said, "Chelsea, I was done trying to win you back the moment I started dating Andrea."

Andrea is his ex-girlfriend now.

"Good." I said.

And that was pretty much it.  We went inside, and he talked a little longer.  I told him that the best place to get a shake in Garden City was still Hometown Drive In, and he left.  So, he drove 2 1/2 hours to come talk to me for 1 1/2, and then get a shake and drive back.  I hope he's learned his lesson.

The rest of the day was nice, however.  We went on a boat ride, and I got ridiculously sunburned.  Most of me is now tan, but there's still a bright red spot on my chest that I think is just going to peel and not tan. Oh well.  Next time I'll know to apply that 90 SPF once every two hours instead of once every four.  Saturday was full of Waverunner riding, tubing, and packing things up to leave.

Overall, it was a good trip.  I got to tan, eat good food, play in the water, oh, and I forgot to mention light some fireworks.  Then there was crocheting, watching good shows and introducing Bailey to Pinky and the Brain and the Animaniacs, laughing with family, and making jewelry.

And what else besides write this awful long post did I do today?  I made Rosemary Lemon Chicken, Rosemary Lemon Thyme Potatoes, and a Garden Salad with an herb dressing.  Tomorrow, I'm going to make a Kiwi Lime Sorbet.  I'm going to make some more mint lemonade, too.  And I plan on trying to make a Mango Sorbet and a Lemon Sorbet.  So, if you read to the end of this long post, good for you, you got to read a list of the yummy stuff I've made and will make.

And Megan, if you took the time to read all this after already hearing the narrative, bless your heart.  I'm sure that the written narrative was much easier to read, and follow, because it was minus all the profanity.

When My Dad Has His IPhone...

Pictures will be taken.  Labor Day weekend was no exception.  He always brings his IPhone along when we go four wheeling, even though he doesn't get service anywhere we go.  When we stop at random places in the wilderness, he whips out that phone and takes pictures!  Actually, they're pretty good quality pictures.  I finally got some of these pictures after I fixed my email in my Dad's phone so he could actually send them to me.

My mom wasn't overly thrilled about pictures.  She was tired from how long we'd been riding.

Ryan looks pretty awesome.  That's mainly because he just can't look terrible.  He's a fashion statement even when completely covered in dirt.

I was happy to be four wheeling, but I don't look so cool.  I do look terrible covered in dirt.

My brother was the smartest of us all, because he kept his helmet on, and it hid how dirty his face was.

And if it weren't for my Dad always carrying that phone of his around during odd times, we would never have any pictures like this to show.  I guess we should be grateful that he finally caught up with the technology of the times, and is capable of using it!

Play One Day, Sick The Next

I woke up this morning with the flu.  I've never experienced pain quite like it.  It felt like every rib in my chest had been broken, and I wished that I didn't have to breathe.    I'm glad it's over now.  Hopefully that's the worst case of the flu I'll get this year. 

However, yesterday was great.  It all started with the movie Lagaan at that ended at three in the morning.  Carianne Hirano brought it up to show us.  We had to watch it with subtitles, because it was a Bollywood movie, all in Hindi.  The movie was over three hours long, but it was fun to watch.  I tell you, trying to understand a game of Cricket that early in the morning wears your brain out when it is the first game of Cricket you've ever watched.

After a few hours of sleep, everyone got up for breakfast and then got ready and went out on the boat.  Savannah Combe wakeboarded first, and then Ryan Taylor went out and learned to kneeboard.  Then Carianne learned to kneeboard and then tried to learn to wakeboard.  Finally, I decided to get into the water to wakeboard.  The water was really rather cold for this time of year, but I acclimated to it after awhile.  I only wakeboarded a couple of times.  Ryan got seasick, because the boat had been stopped for so long and the waves were rocking the boat.  Carianne and I went tubing, and then Ryan and Savannah went.  Ryan felt much better once he got into the water. 

When we got off the boat and went up to the cabin, my mom's coworker Erin was there with her kids.  We got a veggie tray ready and some chips and salsa to eat before we went out on the waverunners and boat.  The water was rough when we got the waverunners into the water, and since one of our waverunners was not functioning correctly, Ryan and I ended up on the yellow two person boat in the choppy water.  This would have been fine, but it tips over really easy in the rough water with one person, let alone two, and it is hard to get back on when you are in the deep water.  Carianne and Savannah were on the four person "tuna boat" and so the ride was a lot smoother for them.  I guess I didn't tell them that they should stay close, and they went all the way to Cisco beach in the chop, and we followed them to flag them down.  It took that long to do so.  That's several miles in the choppy water on a machine that flies out of the water when it hits a wave of a large size. 

Ryan drove the waverunner on the way there and part way back.  When he stopped a wave caught the boat in the wrong way and we fell off.  It was a good thing that Savannah and Carianne were behind us at that point, because Ryan couldn't get back on our boat.  He kept falling off.  I jumped off and swam to him to get the lanyard to hook on the boat so I could drive by Carianne and Savannah's waverunner and let Ryan jump on the back of mine.  By this point the ride wasn't as fun as it was on the way out, because the wind was picking up and it took a lot of strength to stay on the boat.  This could also have something to do with the fact that I was driving and it took a lot more effort to stay on the boat.  Needless to say, we're both sore today.

We came in and switched waverunners, which was nice for Ryan and I, because then we were able to enjoy ourselves in the chop without exerting the last of our energy.  Then we came in and helped finish getting dinner ready.  We ate pork loin, corn, and dutch oven potatoes.  Awhile later we went on a bike ride.  My family has two beach cruisers and a tandum bike.  Savannah has a bucket list, and on that list was to ride a tandum bike.  She was able to cross that off her list.  Ryan and I rode it back to find out that the tires were running low. 

When Savannah and Carianne left, Ryan and I went back out for a last run on the waverunners.  The water had calmed down, and we had some fun before the sun went down.  Then we cleaned up and got raspberry shakes at Hometown Drive In.  It was nice to talk to Ryan, although I often feel that I do all the talking.  I feel like I pry when I ask questions, so I rarely ask them.  So, after we got back we got ready for bed and watched Merlin (well, in between sleeping) and then I let Dylan switch me spots and sleep on the airbed and went into a room to sleep. 

Then this morning the first paragraph of this post happened.  Ryan and my dad went home to go to church; they're coming back this evening.  Tomorrow, if my luck keeps turning for the better, I'll be able to go four wheeling with everyone.

Another Bear Lake Problem

For this historic 100th post, I present to you my brainlessness.  We get to Bear Lake without event, and my mom and I go about unpacking things.  Then we take a nap.  When My mom and I wake up, we go out to unload four wheelers.  There was a spare tire in between two of the four wheelers, so I unthinkingly put the keys on the front of one of these kawasaki four wheelers and got the spare tire off of the trailer.  One key rolled into the front of that four wheeler, into the part that doesn't allow things to slide out of it when shaken.

So, instead of letting me do what I wanted, my mom insisted I drive the four wheeler off the trailer to try and shake the key out of the machine.  I did as instructed, and guess what?  The key is lodged so far into the machine that I can't get it out without taking the machine apart.  I mean the battery and everything out of the front to try and get behind the steering wheel.  And did I mention that I don't have the tools to do it?  So, I'm stuck now, after using scissors and knives as screwdrivers, I thought I had it.  There's bolts.  Bloody bolts!  Really, I hope that this isn't how the whole weekend goes for me.  I just might lose it if it is.  Needless to say, I'm sure my dad is going to be plenty annoyed with the situation.

The Unexpected Great Day

My roommate had boys over this morning at one.  Yes, one in the morning; I don't call anything after noonday morning.  Instead of going downstairs and ask what she thought she was doing (in much more inappropriate terms) I turned on a cd and went to sleep by drowning out the laughing, screaming, and shouting.  So, when I woke up again to my cell phone, it was ten o'clock.  I slept through my alarm.  My mom called me to see if I was coming home so we could go to lunch.  I hadn't been planning on it, because my brother and I are going to The Lion King thursday, so I thought that I would go to that and come home after the show.

However, I decided that I needed to help my mom with the grocery shopping for Bear Lake, and that required my going back up to Ogden.  It was worth it: Chinese food, choosing yummy food to eat over Labor Day, and a surprising visit from Ryan Taylor.  I guess he's been introducing my mom to that Xango stuff: he sells it.  Anyways, after that he and I went and visited a bunch of people in the Plain City 6th ward for the missionary council.  I was able to enjoy myself and not count how many times I used certain words in the conversation.  In other words, I was able to be a normal human being!  Which is nice, since when I talk to people I can rarely be that (yes, if I have known you for less than a year, I probably count how many times I use certain words, because it worries me that I sound repetitive in my speech).

We stopped at his house to get a brochure of some sort for my mom on a Xango product, and then headed back to my house for BLTs and sprite.  Really, I probably kept him longer than I should have at my house showing off my brother's senior year musical, The Wedding Singer, but I enjoyed it.  Hopefully he did.

And Life Presses On

Today has been a lot better so far, even with a toddler to tend.  My mom's trying to get her to take a nap now, and I'm trying to get my cat to sleep in the other room.  My job seems considerably easier, although I will admit that he is very similar to taking care of a baby, as he wakes me up at all hours of the night asking for drinks, to play, and yummy treats.  He's petrified of the toddler, and I think that has a lot to do with where I bought him from.  The lady that I purchased him from ran a daycare from out of her house. 

Anyways, my cousin's daughter calls me mom.  I have no clue why, because we don't look alike.  Maybe we sound alike.  It really doesn't matter, I guess, because I will still be happy to give her back to her mother.  Tajsha has this terrible hitting habit when she doesn't want to do something.  I didn't spank her when she hit me and grabbed my skin on my face, but I did grab her arms and tell her no.  The tyke is so intelligent she's going to be a handful when she gets older---she's a handful now.

Beyond the Mad

Today has been one of those days for me.  You know what I mean: the ones where it goes beyond the sneaky hate spiral.  I spent the day unhappy about everything, for unknown reasons. Perhaps I should reexamine my life.  Anyways, then I realized that my netbook doesn't properly show the new post creator on the screen, and it just was the topper on the whole issue of having to take care of a two year old when I was supposed to be enjoying my vacation at Bear Lake, because if it weren't for her I would never have had to get online to blog about it.  This is just a huge excuse and rationalization for not wanting to take care of a toddler over the weekend.

I generally wouldn't care, so I don't know why I care now.  She's my cousin's daughter.  Maybe it's because I really wanted to relax.  Also, since I didn't get to work out today, I can't justify all of the terribly unhealthy things I ate today.  It made me realize that when I'm angry or anxious about anything, I tend to eat more, and I would hate to let my lack of self control deter me from my goal of being 135 by the time I get to BYU.  I'm six pounds away, and I really don't want to blow it now.  I keep telling myself I would have gone on at least a bike ride today, but then it had to go and rain with a huge thunderstorm.  Don't get me wrong, thunderstorms are great, but not with a two year old.

Days like today remind me that lifestyle changes are hard, and sometimes we fail.  The point is to get back up and going again.  The don't let life get you down thing.  I would all it a ploy, but that is a little cynical for the context I'm using it for in this post.  Yes, I realize that this post is a completely lame one, and possibly bordering on ridiculous for the self-pity posts that are undeservedly posted on here, but I needed to get it off my chest, and I don't have my paper journal up here.  I forgot it.  So forgive me my faults of having problems with tending kids when I don't want to, and the repercussions that has on the way I view my life, and in turn my personality.  It's really a good thing that I don't want to have kids---anytime soon.

Finale Time

It's the final day up here at Bear Lake for the YSA ward, and we decided to take our boat out one more time for them all.  Things went well; I got the boat off the trailer just fine and I was able to tow two groups of people on the chariot tube we have.  Then, when I went to let my dad pull Travis behind the boat, it wouldn't move.  The engine worked just fine, but the propeller wouldn't engage.  We waited for twenty minutes for my dad's counselor to come and tow us in.

So much for a final boating day.  Every single boat we own is broken now.  It is also ironic that we would have to tow the boat home, because my dad noticed that there was a nail in the boat trailer tire yesterday.  Before he tows it home he will have to change a flat tire.  If it weren't for bad luck, the Adams Family wouldn't have any luck at all.

Also, you know when you see people who are older than you when you are young, and you admire them?  Well, I did that with some of the people up here, but now that I am grown up, they are less impressive.  I hate that, mainly because it lets me know that I am growing up.  Having no reason to find that person more special is definitely proof to me that people are enchanted with those that they find better/more mysterious than themselves.  It also makes me wonder if that is why we fall in and out of infatuation with people, because we find out that they are normal.  If so, how does anybody ever stay with one person for their entire lives?  Those two people must always stay equally mysterious to one another or continually feel that their partner is better than they are.  That's the only way I can see marriage working, because each person strives to be just as good as the other their entire married lives.

YSA Memories

The whole reason I am up here at Bear Lake this weekend is for the Young Single Adult activity.  My dad is the bishop of one of the YSA wards in the Ogden second stake, and so the big activity that was planned was for up at our cabin, for the third year running.  Really, since I've only been up one other time, it really doesn't bother me. 

A couple of years ago, when I was 18, I went to this activity, not that I really had any choice, as my dad was the president of the branch, and I was needed to help out.  When I was there, there was this guy that I hung out with out on the water; I really miss that guy this year.  He was working and cut his hand open on the job, and it was a bad enough wound that it needed stitches.  It still isn't healed, so he didn't come, as he couldn't do anything.  I understand that, and I am fine with him not coming, especially since he took the alternative of going hiking with his family over the weekend.

Still, I remember the way he would go out of his way to help me, and how I would catch him looking at me.  We rode the water wienie with three other people, and we took the back two seats.  Essentially, we controlled that water wienie.  If we wanted everyone off of that thing, we could make it happen.  One time we did just that, falling off before everyone else and yanking the water wienie just enough that we watched them all fall off in slow motion.  I distinctly remember us turning to one another and giving a hi-five with grins on our faces. 

This year, I went on the water wienie, sat in the same spot, with a different guy behind me, and it was fun, but it wasn't the same.  The guy, Brent Jenkins, is ridiculously strong.  He had fallen off the back of that water wienie, and was just holding on with his hands, and managed to pull himself back up through the waves onto the back of the water wienie while the boat was still pulling the water wienie!  I was really amazed.  I kept calling him Blake, though, which is his brother's name, I think.  It made me feel kind of bad, but hey, they do look a lot alike.  Either way, I couldn't bring myself to stop secretly pining for my friend. 

In retrospect of the whole event those couple years ago, I wonder if he was doing all that because he wanted to date me, or found me attractive, at least.  It's nice to think so.  Also, since this guy is still single, I wonder if he will give me a chance, or if we missed our moment that summer.  There have to be more possible moments, right?  I would like to think so.

The "Tell-Tail" Meow

Every time my family goes to Bear Lake we take my Bengal cat, Lex Luther.  He's too high maintenance to be left alone in the house for even a full twenty four hours.  In just twelve hours he's capable of destroying the house, including the toilet paper rolls in the bathrooms.  This time when we took him up my mom and I decided that rather than come back and pick him up after we'd taken care of my grandparents' yard (I'm watering their garden and flowers around their pond as well as feeding their fish.) we'd take him with us and let him roam while we worked.  Lex was decidedly unhappy about this, since he didn't know where we were going.

We stopped at the credit union before we headed over to my grandparents' house so my mom could get some cash from the ATM.  When we were there I had put the window partially down so he could smell outside.  My mom freaked out a bit when she saw his head out, because her philosophy is that if he can get his head out, he can jump out.  She quickly started to roll the window up, which trapped my poor, pitiful cat's head in between the car door and the glass.  He started screaming and trying to get his head out, during which few seconds I was screaming at my mom that she was trying to murder my cat.  Needless to say, my mom felt terrible, especially since that is probably the only grandchild my mom is ever going to get from me.

Worried that my mom had smashed his windpipe somewhat, we took his collar off and checked to make sure he was breathing.  He was short of breath, but he was fine, and told us just what he thought of that incident the rest of the way to my grandparents' house.  Once we got there, though, he really did enjoy himself, particularly when he got to be over by the fish pond and I fed the fish, so he could see them come right up to the top of the pond.  Although he wouldn't get in the water to chase them, he did dip his paws in a bit to get after them.  They never really came close enough for him to get one, though.  That's a good thing, because I do believe that he might have really hurt one/potentially killed one if he did.  My step-grandmother really isn't too nice when it comes to things like that, no matter how cute the animal is.

While there, I ran into the neighbors, and the girl, Jackie, happened to see Lex and told us that she bred Bengals.  I went over to see the two kittens she had, Shiloh and Apollo.  They were really cute, but I wouldn't have traded Lex for either of them.  They were rather more expensive than Lex, too.  I paid 500 dollars for Lex, but she was asking 1000 dollars for Apollo as a pet or 1500 to 1800 dollars for a show cat, and 700 dollars for Shiloh.  Given, Apollo was show cat quality, but it seemed a little high to me.  Shiloh won't go for 700 dollars, I don't think.  He's cute enough, but since he's not show quality and given how old he's getting, she's going to have to settle for a little less. 

When we were finished, we headed towards Bear Lake.  Lex was getting a little jittery and wild, so we put him in his box for the ride up Sardine Canyon, knowing how much he hates it.  He did his usual screaming routine through Sardine, and then calmed down in Logan, but when we hit Logan Canyon, boy were we surprised.  Lex completely through a fit.  Banging up against the walls of his box and trying to rip it to shreds, he was scaring us, so we decided to let him out of it and sit on my lap when we were towards the end of the canyon.  He was happy and stayed calm until halfway around the lake to our cabin, and then he started squirming in my arms and trying to get to where he could open a window (Yes, he is smart enough to do that, as well as open the cupboard to get his milk bowl.  He can also say Mom and Grandma.  My cat is completely and totally awesome).  It was a good thing we got to our cabin when we did, because I don't think that Lex would have made it much longer in the car.

We let him go out and enjoy the outdoors for awhile, and then made him come in and have a nap with us when we were finished unpacking.  The grass was too wet to mow the lawn at the time.  Now he's just fine, but I really hope that he's better on the return trip: more his usual self.  In my opinion, it was all because he had his grandma try to cut off his head using the window this morning.

Bear Lake and Realization

So, I spent the weekend at Bear Lake, which was overall quite nice, even though I didn't get a heavy workout in yesterday.  The lake is just the right temperature for cooling down and swimming in.  My cousin Bailey and I decided to take a tube down and go out in the water to float on it, but we went too deep before we hopped on it, so it looked really ridiculous when we tried to get on.  The other people in the water were laughing at us, but we were laughing so hard at ourselves that we really didn't care.  We knew we looked ridiculous, but we were having fun.  We went on a couple bike rides on the bike trail, and I went out on the trail one night and took a walk.

Going out on the boat for the first time this year was also really enjoyable.  Even though our anchor rope broke and our boat almost beached before we got to it, and my mom and I were arguing while we got things fixed, which in turn made my dad upset at us, things were fun out on the water.  Bailey and I went on a couple tube rides, and man are we paying for it today.  There was a chariot sort of tube we rode that gave us whiplash and rubbed the skin off of our knuckles, not including the extremely sore backs we have.

Eating the first fresh Utah corn of the year was really great.  Sure, we most definitely paid too much money for it, but it was worth it to me.  There is something about the way that Utah corn tastes that just completely beats out anything California can deliver.

Despite the good weekend, however, I came to the realization that I feel like something is missing in my life.  I don't know what it is, but when I find out I fully intend to get it back/obtain it for myself.  Do you ever wish sometimes that time would just fast-forward itself so you could move past a spot you don't want to be in?  It's not necessarily that the spot you currently hold in life is a bad one, but that you are, in fact, in a mediocre spot on your own personal timeline.  I feel like I've been in that mediocre spot on my personal timeline for quite a few months now, and I feel like I've got quite a few months more before I get out of it.  It feels somewhat like hitting a plateau in your plans.  You don't fall backwards in them, but you have a really hard time moving in a forward direction.  There has to be an extra special push to move you through it.  I don't know what my extra special push in life is going to have to be, but I think it's going to have to be big.