Lots List

Lots of Buffy.

Lots of music.

Lots of wishing that there was someone who cared.

Lots of wanting to cry.

About ten tears fell before I told myself to get over it.

Lots of rambling on about things so people will think I'm okay.

Lots of getting angry.

Lots of wanting to tell couples to just break it off now, because it isn't going to work anyway.

Lots of feeling like monogamous relationships are almost as nonexistent as functioning open ones.

Lots of wanting to punch things.

Lots of feeling bad about wanting to break things, because I know if I broke them I'd feel bad later, and miss those things.

Lots of wanting to be something more than I am.

Lots of wondering who in the world isn't going to think that I'm just having a 'pity me' party.

Lots of wanting to tell a certain someone "Bull shit.  It's your life, you're an adult, and you can do what you want with it.  No one can command your life but you.  Do what you want with it; don't just pine away for it."

Lots of wanting someone to hug, lay my head on his shoulder, etc.

Lots of wanting to kiss someone, but then thinking, well, I don't want to just kiss a random stranger or a friend that I don't really like; I want to like the person enough to want to stay with them awhile.  Then again, maybe I shouldn't even want that, because I don't really need a relationship right now.

Lots of wanting to make a certain someone jealous; a lot of hoping that he's miserable on occasion, too.

Lots of feeling bad about the above thoughts on him.

Lots of feeling mediocre.

Lots of writing random things.

Lots of Terry Pratchett.

And the list goes on...