I Was Thinking About...

Things I occasionally mourn over:

• That I can't learn by osmosis.
• That I'm not British.
• That I'm not rich enough to go anywhere I want.
• Homework is still required in college.
• That I ever got married.
• That I'm single.
• That I don't get asked out on dates.
• That I lack the motivation to be productive.
• The overuse of the word like.
• The amount of time I have to spend asleep.
• That all the really good looking guys like blonde bombshells.
• That most of the really good looking guys are jerks.
• That the guy in my class from New Zealand is in the army.
• That I overanalyze everything.
• So many books, so little time.
• The price of gasoline.
• The price of groceries.
• The 10,000 hour rule

And there's so many more that I'm not going to name.  That's probably because I don't mourn over them as frequently.  I'll let you decide which ones on the list I seriously mourn over, and the ones that I just think of and wish after.

One Year Mark

On the week of the 27th, it'll be a year since I left him.  Not since I got my marriage annulled, but since I left.  I think that's worth noting.

I always thought that the one year mark would be a depressing date for me, and that I wouldn't function very well for that entire week.  Ain't gonna happen.

What have I learned from this last year of hell?

1. I will not tolerate abuse from anyone.
2. I am worth it, no matter what one person may say.
3. There's definitely red flags that I'll notice when I start dating again, and avoid the people that I see those markers in.
4. Being single doesn't mean you're alone, or that you're lonely.
5. I can't depend on someone else to build my self esteem.  I have to do that myself.
6. I am intelligent, and not crazy, and I won't let anyone convince me otherwise.
7. It's okay to cry occasionally (but I still have a thing: you don't cry in front of other people if you can help it).
8. When you're on the verge of a mental breakdown, ask someone to come over and do something with you.
9. Exercising is a great way to take your mind off life's troubles.
10. I can set goals, and I can reach them.

Here's to the one year mark.

What I Know

Thou shalt not commit adultery.  No one ever considers that there's more than one type.

We don't get married because we love somebody.  We get married because we want that person's love, and don't want anyone else to have it.

Guilt is a scary thing.  That's why people do extraordinary things to hide their guilt.

People don't lie to save other people's feelings.  They lie because they want to save their own.

People get the angriest in an argument when they know that their opponent has said something irrefutably true.

If comparing yourself to other people wasn't important, you wouldn't do it.

Justifying your actions doesn't always mean they were the wrong actions, it just means that the situation was morally muddy, and justification is a means of deciding if blurring the lines was worth it in the end.

The idea that ignorance is bliss is a lie.  We say that to make ourselves feel better about all the uneducated people who are starving, disease ridden, and dying in the world.

The people who see that there is more bad than good in the world aren't cynics, they're realists.

The human race hasn't changed, or history wouldn't repeat itself.

People condemn the actions of others in the past, such as adultery and rape, and say that people are much better now, because they want to delude themselves into thinking that it is nowhere near as prevalent today.

All men were not created equal.

How To Find Your Orange Pen

It does not matter how loudly you yell, "Where is the orange pen?"  The pen will not come to you.

It does not matter how many times you look for the pen in the usual places--it will not be there.

You can just use a pen of another color.  Then the plan of underlining all the important facts in one color within the textbook would be thwarted.

You could just go buy a new orange pen.  The problem with that is that once you have appropriated the new pen, you will most likely find the old one, which unveils your impatience to the world and proves that it was a waste of money to buy a new one.

You should retrace your steps back a few days to the place that you sat the most while doing your reading and underlining.

Upon shaking the bed sheets and examining the underbelly of your bed you should find what you're looking for, for beds always ingest the items which are not carefully stowed away in their proper places.

And thusly, the problem is solved.

Some More Nerdy Trivia

• There are more plastic flamingos in the United States than real ones.

• The muzzle of a lion is like a finger print.  No two are exactly alike.

• If the entire population of China walked past you in single file, you would not live long enough to see the end of the line.

• Giraffes and humans have the same number of vertebrae in the neck; the giraffes' are just much larger.

• The Niagara River froze solid on March 29, 1848, which stopped the flow of the Niagara Falls.  So, for a few hours the locals were able to walk on the riverbed where the falls cascade.

• George Washington rejected a movement started by army officers to make him king of the USA, saying, "I didn't fight George III to become George I."

• Washington was actually America's eighth president.  Before the Constitution of 1789, America was governed by the Articles of Confederation, and seven men served as president under these Articles.

• The traffic light predated the invention of the automobile.

• All swans in England are the property of the queen.

• Time magazine's "Man of the Year" for 1938 was Adolf Hitler.

• Absolute zero, the temperature at which all motion ceases, is -460 degrees Fahrenheit.  

• The FBI hired its first two female agents in 1972: a former nun and a former US marine.

• Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th.

• The superstitious belief that 13 is an unlucky number (Triskaidekaphobia) comes from Judas Iscariot's betrayal of Jesus Christ at the Last Supper, when the twelve and Jesus were gathered together for the last time.

• There are no permanent rivers or lakes in Saudi Arabia.

Some Nerdy Trivia

• Seeking a sage and wizened look, the creators of Star Wars modeled Yoda's face after Albert Einstein.

• Belle, from Disney's Beauty and the Beast, can be seen in a crowd scene in The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

• Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's movie Psycho; it took seven days to shoot the 45-second scene.

• Water exists on the sun.

• Animal Crackers were first produced with a string on the box so they could be used as Christmas tree ornaments.

• The answer to the question which came first, the chicken or the egg, can be found in the Bible (Genesis 1:20-22).

• An exocannibal eats only his enemies, while an indocannibal eats only his friends.

• 111,111,111 X 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 a palindromic number.

• British merchant Peter Durand came up with the idea of canned food in 1810, but the can opener wasn't invented until 48 years later by Ezra J. Warner.  Until 1858 cans were opened with a hammer and chisel.

And my Personal Favorite:

• The Bible has been translated into nearly 2,500 languages, including Klingon, Romulan, and Vulcan.

Lots List

Lots of Buffy.

Lots of music.

Lots of wishing that there was someone who cared.

Lots of wanting to cry.

About ten tears fell before I told myself to get over it.

Lots of rambling on about things so people will think I'm okay.

Lots of getting angry.

Lots of wanting to tell couples to just break it off now, because it isn't going to work anyway.

Lots of feeling like monogamous relationships are almost as nonexistent as functioning open ones.

Lots of wanting to punch things.

Lots of feeling bad about wanting to break things, because I know if I broke them I'd feel bad later, and miss those things.

Lots of wanting to be something more than I am.

Lots of wondering who in the world isn't going to think that I'm just having a 'pity me' party.

Lots of wanting to tell a certain someone "Bull shit.  It's your life, you're an adult, and you can do what you want with it.  No one can command your life but you.  Do what you want with it; don't just pine away for it."

Lots of wanting someone to hug, lay my head on his shoulder, etc.

Lots of wanting to kiss someone, but then thinking, well, I don't want to just kiss a random stranger or a friend that I don't really like; I want to like the person enough to want to stay with them awhile.  Then again, maybe I shouldn't even want that, because I don't really need a relationship right now.

Lots of wanting to make a certain someone jealous; a lot of hoping that he's miserable on occasion, too.

Lots of feeling bad about the above thoughts on him.

Lots of feeling mediocre.

Lots of writing random things.

Lots of Terry Pratchett.

And the list goes on...