One Person

I've had a really huge range of emotions that I've swung back and forth through this past week. I think it has a lot to do with me brooding over not being able to get a date. And I'm not talking about a serious "I really like you and want you to be my boyfriend" type of date. I'm just talking about going out with a guy as friends.

I realize that I shouldn't be upset over it, and I get over it and get really happy. And then I think how fun it would be if I had a guy friend that wanted to go dancing with me on Thursday nights, and I get upset again. What is so wrong with me that I can't even have a guy go out with me as a friend to have fun?

I've asked myself that a lot lately.

For awhile I thought it was because I just didn't make myself available to do things, so I made myself more available. Then when nothing happened I thought it was because I wasn't outgoing enough, so I tried to be more outgoing. And then when nothing happened I thought that I just needed to ask guys to do stuff with me every now and then, so I did. And every guy tells me no. Something must be seriously wrong with me; that's my next thought.

It really comes down to finding one person that wants to go do things with me. And I really hate that it is one person that can make a difference for better or for worse. My friend James posted this on his facebook, and I thought it seemed appropriate.